An infection trapped me in bed on the first week of December. My system went very bad it sent me questioning what I have done with it. I should say, 2009 was a very good year. I went over my journal and read fun, achievement, goodwill and joy. Surely there were some disappointments yet not much worth stopping for a tear. There was hard work and its corresponding reward , new acquaintances and some imprints of thoughts that people left in my mind and heart. 2009 was a really blessed moment in my lifetime.
Work took most of my time this year. Life for me is a struggle of getting and keeping up on our feet moving forward and steadily keep going never faltering by wasting time moaning at the dark pages of the past. We may never get too far as other spectators expected but as for myself I am happy where I am and will gladly move at my own pace. Everyone and everything we encounter each minute propels us to our destination and people nice and rude simply steers us to such direction.
Trapped inside my bedroom feeling sick and cold - I could not do anymore than close my eyes and just forget everything in sleep. Even then I hope that very soon I will wake up with enough strength and start working again - but it was not to be the story. There were oblivious risk on those long hours of work I agreed to take. Most of my clients were asking me - don't you ever sleep ? One client said, I do not want to ring the bell because I want you to grab some rest. Families visiting their relatives would say, oh dear you are working too hard. Although I appreciate their concern, somehow they put some kind of guilt in my brain. The attention they showed was telling me that people were seeing me pushing myself to the edge and are not comfortable and happy anymore.
One thing I have heard in the past kept coming back to my head: Nature works in a kind of BALANCE ... what you sow you reap ... what you do comes back to you ... etc. but it was not enough. Then something had to make an impact. One time a woman came in to tell us, that we were ALL good for nothing, lazy, liars. The words struck me with anger. In my thoughts I asked - Good for nothing ? - I invested my passion, my smiles, my heart, my goodwill, my good senses to be kind for your gain and I am good for nothing ? I dedicated my effort, mastering patience, understanding and acceptance for the all the stress ... and what have I reaped ???? If she were my client whom I served I could have forgiven her, but for one judgmental, arrogant and callous person who does not even know what she was talking about to say that - I find it gross ABUSE.
The words may not have been directed to me - but somehow as a professional health worker I am educated to deal with THERAPEUTIC communication. More I do not go around labeling people I do not know and I do not want to be unjustly labeled myself. While in bed, I started receiving calls asking me to do extra shifts - I said NO. I am a good for nothing, lazy liar. Soon enough, things made sense to me. I am not angry anymore - I have been working and working that my body failed to rest. I felt tired, dehydrated, worn out and wasted. Finally, it wanted to just lie down and sleep - recharge and rejuvenate.
The following week, I needed to see my doctor. He prescribed an antibiotic to clear out the remaining infection although I was not febrile anymore. My head was all clear although my nose was still stuffed. My throat would find the need to cough but I could not feel anything down my lungs. My abs circle pro stood waiting for me at my bedside, my Zumba sits waiting to be spun, Bravia had all the time to flirt with her flawless display, my laptop dutifully sung its songs - oh what a life - I do deserve all these - and now I have the time to visit Blogger to say how thankful I am - I needed the time to rest and I got it. THE BODY HAD SPOKEN !
08 December, 2009
15 October, 2009
THE SMILE, NO MORE:
It was the third day since he left and the kindly smile, the innocent grin and the lovely spirit still linger inside the walls which was his home for sometime. I walked the familiar hallway, sat in the office trying to pull out a chart to document the things done during the shift. I know the door is right beside me - there I used to always have something to think about. But it is empty now - nothing but all donated stuff - the things he used to have which the family wanted to give to whoever would make use of it.
I remember the first time I came to work. He was one man aged in years but childlike in spirit. For a while he started wandering and unconsciously opened unwelcoming doors. He tried to move around, doing what he must have done in his younger years. He picked up feeders and flannels left on the trolley thinking that it should be kept somewhere else. He could be seen wiping tables and walls - a sign that he could have been a neat and orderly man in better times. But times had changed - he was overcome by years.
He had an amazing life history. He had saved a life in a fire while risking and compromising his own. From then on - he had such endless bout of respiratory problem that put him in regular antibiotics of a higher generation. Nurses are normally challenged by odd behaviours. At times when things can get rough and bells started ringing here and there - a nurse can be brought at wits end but not when it comes to Gordon. He was disoriented. He cannot ring the bell for his needs except when he plays with it. He knows where his shavers are and has memories of what it is for. He knows where his shirts are and makes a fuss with them. He can be seen opening the cookie jar and stuffing his pockets but he was never a pain in the neck. His very cool behaviour brings a smile into our faces, he brings out something that made us want to be patient and doting. He reminds me of the song " He aint Heavy He's My Brother "
Maybe it was his least demanding nature that I want to make sure that I do not forget him. Weeks prior the day - we noticed that he was eating less and was more sleepy than usual. As a leader of the team, I was aware that the staff were giving him extra attention. When he was getting less cooperative with his medications, it was so easy for me to sit down with pudding, ice cream or his favorite drink and make sure he gets every pill due for him to take. When I go on night shift - he was one of those prioritized for monitoring lest he rolls or slide down the floor.
The last few days we decided to put a protective mattress down his bedside in case he falls. One night I saw him sitting on it wrapped with his blanket. He was smiling like a child as if he was into some kind of funny and enjoyable play. The last day I saw him up the lounge - he was sleeping on the lazy boy. I took his temperature thinking he might have an impending flu but it was alright. Something in him seem to say that he was tired but I can see the fondness of most of the staff on him that I was quite sure no one was ready to part with him and I was happy for the attention and cares that he was getting.
That Sunday was my day off from work. When I came back in the afternoon of Monday - it was unbelievable for me to hear that he was going. To be told that he is sick is alright but not quite the fact that he was dying. I went to see him inside his room - he was all down and very ill and his family were there. Deep in my thoughts I know that he deserved the best care that I can give. I took the best pajama that I can get from his drawer and decided that I should give him a wash. The moment I wet the flannel my chest got so tight - I cant stand it and had to go back to the station.
I was angry, I was sad. I can not help it I had to cry. My fellow nurse told me - I need to be strong. I had to compose myself again as there are other patients to attend to but I was crying like a small child. I opened the medicine trolley for no reason - grab a tissue and ventilate my emotion. I do not have the luxury of time to continue crying - somehow I need to be thinking straight. I went back to the room and finished what I have started. The family decided to go outside and let me do my thing. Everything came back to me - from the time when I was doing a caregiver role and was doing his bedside cares till now that I got my registration and is a full-time nurse.
Late in my shift, my working partner managed to sit with him. He woke up and was drinking his favorite drink. Yra took the time to feed him and as I dropped by to check - he flashed that familiar smile - so full of life - his eyes so clear as if awaken from a very nice sleep. I called out his name and gave him an approving sign. He was awake and for a while I had the hope that he will recover and be well in the morning. All worries drained off my nerves. The bell started ringing and other patients need to be attended. I had to finished the charts and just when I was about to write Yra called back.
Gordon is not breathing. OH no ... how unfair !!! the SMILE - I did not realize it was a farewell. Yra and I were standing at each side of his bed... Yra said, how it hurts Ate ... I said... I know. He woke up just to smile to us. We shook our heads - nothing more we can do. He had to go and we must let him be. I rang his family and his doctor. With all tenderness, we washed him again, changed everything to clean ones and handed-over the incident to the next shift's staff. The SMILE: no more.
I remember the first time I came to work. He was one man aged in years but childlike in spirit. For a while he started wandering and unconsciously opened unwelcoming doors. He tried to move around, doing what he must have done in his younger years. He picked up feeders and flannels left on the trolley thinking that it should be kept somewhere else. He could be seen wiping tables and walls - a sign that he could have been a neat and orderly man in better times. But times had changed - he was overcome by years.
He had an amazing life history. He had saved a life in a fire while risking and compromising his own. From then on - he had such endless bout of respiratory problem that put him in regular antibiotics of a higher generation. Nurses are normally challenged by odd behaviours. At times when things can get rough and bells started ringing here and there - a nurse can be brought at wits end but not when it comes to Gordon. He was disoriented. He cannot ring the bell for his needs except when he plays with it. He knows where his shavers are and has memories of what it is for. He knows where his shirts are and makes a fuss with them. He can be seen opening the cookie jar and stuffing his pockets but he was never a pain in the neck. His very cool behaviour brings a smile into our faces, he brings out something that made us want to be patient and doting. He reminds me of the song " He aint Heavy He's My Brother "
Maybe it was his least demanding nature that I want to make sure that I do not forget him. Weeks prior the day - we noticed that he was eating less and was more sleepy than usual. As a leader of the team, I was aware that the staff were giving him extra attention. When he was getting less cooperative with his medications, it was so easy for me to sit down with pudding, ice cream or his favorite drink and make sure he gets every pill due for him to take. When I go on night shift - he was one of those prioritized for monitoring lest he rolls or slide down the floor.
The last few days we decided to put a protective mattress down his bedside in case he falls. One night I saw him sitting on it wrapped with his blanket. He was smiling like a child as if he was into some kind of funny and enjoyable play. The last day I saw him up the lounge - he was sleeping on the lazy boy. I took his temperature thinking he might have an impending flu but it was alright. Something in him seem to say that he was tired but I can see the fondness of most of the staff on him that I was quite sure no one was ready to part with him and I was happy for the attention and cares that he was getting.
That Sunday was my day off from work. When I came back in the afternoon of Monday - it was unbelievable for me to hear that he was going. To be told that he is sick is alright but not quite the fact that he was dying. I went to see him inside his room - he was all down and very ill and his family were there. Deep in my thoughts I know that he deserved the best care that I can give. I took the best pajama that I can get from his drawer and decided that I should give him a wash. The moment I wet the flannel my chest got so tight - I cant stand it and had to go back to the station.
I was angry, I was sad. I can not help it I had to cry. My fellow nurse told me - I need to be strong. I had to compose myself again as there are other patients to attend to but I was crying like a small child. I opened the medicine trolley for no reason - grab a tissue and ventilate my emotion. I do not have the luxury of time to continue crying - somehow I need to be thinking straight. I went back to the room and finished what I have started. The family decided to go outside and let me do my thing. Everything came back to me - from the time when I was doing a caregiver role and was doing his bedside cares till now that I got my registration and is a full-time nurse.
Late in my shift, my working partner managed to sit with him. He woke up and was drinking his favorite drink. Yra took the time to feed him and as I dropped by to check - he flashed that familiar smile - so full of life - his eyes so clear as if awaken from a very nice sleep. I called out his name and gave him an approving sign. He was awake and for a while I had the hope that he will recover and be well in the morning. All worries drained off my nerves. The bell started ringing and other patients need to be attended. I had to finished the charts and just when I was about to write Yra called back.
Gordon is not breathing. OH no ... how unfair !!! the SMILE - I did not realize it was a farewell. Yra and I were standing at each side of his bed... Yra said, how it hurts Ate ... I said... I know. He woke up just to smile to us. We shook our heads - nothing more we can do. He had to go and we must let him be. I rang his family and his doctor. With all tenderness, we washed him again, changed everything to clean ones and handed-over the incident to the next shift's staff. The SMILE: no more.
How to Find Your Soul Mate - Finding Your Soul Mate - True Love - Marie Claire
How to Find Your Soul Mate - Finding Your Soul Mate - True Love - Marie Claire: "How to find your Soul Mate rapidly and efficiently
12:33:23 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Posted by: SunimalAlles
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A guide from the TIDY centre. Almost everyone in this world seeks companionship or a soul mate. Even those who do not wish to have human relationships, seek to have spiritual relationships with their Gods and philosophies, in order to be consoled. In order to find your soul mate efficiently, you need to be totally truthful and honest with yourself first. Then you need to find out where you are on the Spiral of Life or Evolution. Please see a video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abW5Gr7Ry7A to know all about the Spiral. According to the Law of the Spiral, you can either be an unrefined, valueless or a hypocritical person who does not care about anything and lives at the bottom of the spiral, or a semi refined person who is aware of what is right and wrong but prefers to live in the dark passively as a hypocrite, or a refined person who upholds truth and justice and is not a hypocrite. Do not be disturbed if you find that your level of refinement is low, as you are not alone. There are less than 2%, 100% honest and truthful persons in the world. You could also be a facilitator Angel in human form that was born to guide those who are untruthful and dishonest in the world, to evolve and refine themselves and move upwards on the spiral. The difference between human beings and facilitator Angels in human form, is that they are 100% honest and do not have the right to amass wealth and assets on earth and also engage in commitments such as marriages. However, they are permitted to have relationships with other facilitator Angels and refined persons who do not amass wealth and assets. Angels are unable to live with normal humans who amass wealth and assets, as their hearts are not oriented in that manner. As a result, Angels in human form have also been suffering for centuries of boredom, lack of companionship and not knowing how to select friends. They too need to identify who they are and place themselves on the Spiral before seeking a companion or friend. Many humans are unable to find their soul mates efficiently, as they are unable to identify where they are on the Spiral of Life – Evolution. Once you place yourself on the Spiral, you would need to seek others who are at the same level as you, to select a soul mate. If you try to have a relationship with someone at a different level on the spiral, (i.e. a relationship between an unrefined/valueless person with a refined person or a facilitator/Angel in human form etc.) the relationship will end up in disaster, divorce and much suffering, as you would be constantly clashing on the values and aspirations embedded in your hearts. Therefore the best matches for seeking soul mates for starting relationships are as follows: 1) Unrefined persons with other unrefined, valueless and hypocritical persons. 2) Semi-refined persons with other semi-refined persons. 3) Refined persons with refined persons 4) Refined persons who do not amass wealth and assets with facilitator Angels. Once you understand the above, it becomes easy to find your soul mate rapidly. You would need to portray your true self (i.e. Unrefined, semi-refined, refined or facilitator Angel) in public and the soul mates who match to your values will automatically be drawn to you, contact you or arrive at your door. If you are at a lower level on the spiral and wish to have a relationship with a human at a higher level or a facilitator/Angel, you would need to graduate rapidly to his/her level and completely adhere to his/her aspirations and values, as they rarely move downwards. Your approaches will also be rejected or relationships broken as soon as they find out your true level. On the other hand, if you are a refined being or a facilitator/Angel and wish to have an un-refined or semi-refined being as your soul mate, you would need to turn a blind eye to your values and conscience and live at his/her level. You may be able to guide him/her gradually to graduate to your level but it is a difficult task. If you choose to live at his/her level you will be struggling in life to maintain your balance. This is because living with an un-refined or semi-refined person is daunting, with constant need to accept hypocritical and dishonest thoughts and actions. This will require that you stop living meaningfully and joyfully. Now, who wants to struggle and live life in misery!! Therefore, it is better to adhere to the law of the spiral or evolution and live joyfully. It is not recommended that people live at the un-refined and semi-refined level for long as it is more challenging than living as a refined person. This is because you would need to constantly justify your hypocritical and dishonest thoughts and actions and may also be condemned and have to go to prison if you are prosecuted. If you are a facilitator Angel in human form and try to live a totally human life, your attempts will fail as you were not born to be a human. Thank you and wish you the best, Sunimal M. Alles The TIDY center www.tidycentre.com +256772009094"
12:33:23 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Posted by: SunimalAlles
Report Abuse
A guide from the TIDY centre. Almost everyone in this world seeks companionship or a soul mate. Even those who do not wish to have human relationships, seek to have spiritual relationships with their Gods and philosophies, in order to be consoled. In order to find your soul mate efficiently, you need to be totally truthful and honest with yourself first. Then you need to find out where you are on the Spiral of Life or Evolution. Please see a video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abW5Gr7Ry7A to know all about the Spiral. According to the Law of the Spiral, you can either be an unrefined, valueless or a hypocritical person who does not care about anything and lives at the bottom of the spiral, or a semi refined person who is aware of what is right and wrong but prefers to live in the dark passively as a hypocrite, or a refined person who upholds truth and justice and is not a hypocrite. Do not be disturbed if you find that your level of refinement is low, as you are not alone. There are less than 2%, 100% honest and truthful persons in the world. You could also be a facilitator Angel in human form that was born to guide those who are untruthful and dishonest in the world, to evolve and refine themselves and move upwards on the spiral. The difference between human beings and facilitator Angels in human form, is that they are 100% honest and do not have the right to amass wealth and assets on earth and also engage in commitments such as marriages. However, they are permitted to have relationships with other facilitator Angels and refined persons who do not amass wealth and assets. Angels are unable to live with normal humans who amass wealth and assets, as their hearts are not oriented in that manner. As a result, Angels in human form have also been suffering for centuries of boredom, lack of companionship and not knowing how to select friends. They too need to identify who they are and place themselves on the Spiral before seeking a companion or friend. Many humans are unable to find their soul mates efficiently, as they are unable to identify where they are on the Spiral of Life – Evolution. Once you place yourself on the Spiral, you would need to seek others who are at the same level as you, to select a soul mate. If you try to have a relationship with someone at a different level on the spiral, (i.e. a relationship between an unrefined/valueless person with a refined person or a facilitator/Angel in human form etc.) the relationship will end up in disaster, divorce and much suffering, as you would be constantly clashing on the values and aspirations embedded in your hearts. Therefore the best matches for seeking soul mates for starting relationships are as follows: 1) Unrefined persons with other unrefined, valueless and hypocritical persons. 2) Semi-refined persons with other semi-refined persons. 3) Refined persons with refined persons 4) Refined persons who do not amass wealth and assets with facilitator Angels. Once you understand the above, it becomes easy to find your soul mate rapidly. You would need to portray your true self (i.e. Unrefined, semi-refined, refined or facilitator Angel) in public and the soul mates who match to your values will automatically be drawn to you, contact you or arrive at your door. If you are at a lower level on the spiral and wish to have a relationship with a human at a higher level or a facilitator/Angel, you would need to graduate rapidly to his/her level and completely adhere to his/her aspirations and values, as they rarely move downwards. Your approaches will also be rejected or relationships broken as soon as they find out your true level. On the other hand, if you are a refined being or a facilitator/Angel and wish to have an un-refined or semi-refined being as your soul mate, you would need to turn a blind eye to your values and conscience and live at his/her level. You may be able to guide him/her gradually to graduate to your level but it is a difficult task. If you choose to live at his/her level you will be struggling in life to maintain your balance. This is because living with an un-refined or semi-refined person is daunting, with constant need to accept hypocritical and dishonest thoughts and actions. This will require that you stop living meaningfully and joyfully. Now, who wants to struggle and live life in misery!! Therefore, it is better to adhere to the law of the spiral or evolution and live joyfully. It is not recommended that people live at the un-refined and semi-refined level for long as it is more challenging than living as a refined person. This is because you would need to constantly justify your hypocritical and dishonest thoughts and actions and may also be condemned and have to go to prison if you are prosecuted. If you are a facilitator Angel in human form and try to live a totally human life, your attempts will fail as you were not born to be a human. Thank you and wish you the best, Sunimal M. Alles The TIDY center www.tidycentre.com +256772009094"
10 October, 2009
8 Foods That Fight Fat on Yahoo! Health
8 Foods That Fight Fat on Yahoo! Health: "8 Foods That Fight Fat
SELF.com
By Lucy Danziger, SELF Editor-in-Chief - Posted on Thu, Oct 08, 2009, 3:32 pm PDT
Happier, Healthier You
by Lucy Danziger, SELF Editor-in-Chief a Yahoo! Health Expert for Women's Health
Visit Women's Health Home »
More By This Expert
* 8 Foods That Fight Fat
* Score Flat Abs Without Sit-Ups
* Be Your Healthiest on the Inside
All Blog Posts
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97% of users found this article helpful.
Want to lose weight as you chow down? Your wish is granted! (I promise, this is no fairy tale.) Your supermarket is filled with foods that studies show have lipid-melting powers to help melt fat and keep you slim. Stock up on these fat-fighting super bites, and you'll be trimmer even as you indulge. Read on to discover the eight foods that deserve a permanent spot in your fridge—and in your diet!
Almonds These yummy nuts are high in alpha-linolenic acid, which can accelerate your metabolism of fats. In fact, dieters who ate 3 ounces of almonds daily slashed their weight and body-mass index by 18 percent, while those who skipped the nuts reduced both numbers less— just 11 percent—a study in the International Journal of Obesity revealed. Chomp almonds à la carte (limit yourself to 12 per serving to keep calories in check). I get a pack at Starbucks and nibble throughout my day. Or sprinkle them into a recipe such as Black Bean–Almond Pesto Chicken. Go nuts!
Berries I tell my daughter, 'These are nature's candy!' Turns out they're also your body's best friends. Strawberries, raspberries and other vitamin C–spiked fruit can supercharge your workout, helping you burn up to 30 percent more fat, research from Arizona State University at Mesa has found. If they're not in season, buy the little gems frozen in a bulk-sized bag so you'll always have them on hand to whip up a Berry Bliss Smoothie or Strawberry-Sunflower Pops, regardless of whether berries are in season.
Cinnamon Adding 1/4 teaspoon to your plate may prevent an insulin spike—an uptick that tells your body to store fat. Sprinkle it on your morning cereal or coffee or on your yogurt in the A.M., or savor it in Apple-Cinnamon-Raisin Oatmeal.
Mustard It's heaven on a soft pretzel, but mustard may also be a weight loss wonder. Turmeric, the spice that gives mustard its color, may slow the growth of fat tissues, a study in the journal Endocrinology finds. Use it on sandwiches instead of mayo, or sprinkle turmeric on cauliflower pre-roasting to give it a kick. Try it on tuna salad—I promise it adds zest.
Oranges This citrus fruit, which contains fat-blasting compounds known as flavones, deserves to be your main squeeze. Women who ate the most flavones had a much lower increase in body fat over a 14-year period, a study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition notes. Eat oranges sliced or swig fresh OJ (including pulp!) to get the best benefit from the fruit.
Soybeans Reason to toss a half cup on your salad? Soybeans are rich in choline, a compound that blocks the absorption of fat and breaks down fatty deposits. Oh, and they're addictively delish! But if breast cancer runs in your family, experts suggest you should talk to your doc before adding soy to your diet.
Sweet potatoes The colorful spuds' high-fiber content means they keep your insulin steadier than their white sisters, which means less fat packed on your hips, research finds. Top a small baked tater with lowfat cottage cheese for a tempting side dish, or whip up Miso Soup With Sweet Potato Dumplings.
Swiss cheese Calcium-rich foods reduce fat-producing enzymes and increase fat breakdown, and Swiss has more calcium than many of its cheesy peers. Choose the reduced-fat variety, such as Sargento. Slip it into your sandwich, put it on top of high-fiber crackers or use it for a healthier grilled cheese. Yum!"
SELF.com
By Lucy Danziger, SELF Editor-in-Chief - Posted on Thu, Oct 08, 2009, 3:32 pm PDT
Happier, Healthier You
by Lucy Danziger, SELF Editor-in-Chief a Yahoo! Health Expert for Women's Health
Visit Women's Health Home »
More By This Expert
* 8 Foods That Fight Fat
* Score Flat Abs Without Sit-Ups
* Be Your Healthiest on the Inside
All Blog Posts
Did you find this helpful?
Rate this blog entry:
Thumbs up Thumbs down
thumbs up thumbs down
97% of users found this article helpful.
Want to lose weight as you chow down? Your wish is granted! (I promise, this is no fairy tale.) Your supermarket is filled with foods that studies show have lipid-melting powers to help melt fat and keep you slim. Stock up on these fat-fighting super bites, and you'll be trimmer even as you indulge. Read on to discover the eight foods that deserve a permanent spot in your fridge—and in your diet!
Almonds These yummy nuts are high in alpha-linolenic acid, which can accelerate your metabolism of fats. In fact, dieters who ate 3 ounces of almonds daily slashed their weight and body-mass index by 18 percent, while those who skipped the nuts reduced both numbers less— just 11 percent—a study in the International Journal of Obesity revealed. Chomp almonds à la carte (limit yourself to 12 per serving to keep calories in check). I get a pack at Starbucks and nibble throughout my day. Or sprinkle them into a recipe such as Black Bean–Almond Pesto Chicken. Go nuts!
Berries I tell my daughter, 'These are nature's candy!' Turns out they're also your body's best friends. Strawberries, raspberries and other vitamin C–spiked fruit can supercharge your workout, helping you burn up to 30 percent more fat, research from Arizona State University at Mesa has found. If they're not in season, buy the little gems frozen in a bulk-sized bag so you'll always have them on hand to whip up a Berry Bliss Smoothie or Strawberry-Sunflower Pops, regardless of whether berries are in season.
Cinnamon Adding 1/4 teaspoon to your plate may prevent an insulin spike—an uptick that tells your body to store fat. Sprinkle it on your morning cereal or coffee or on your yogurt in the A.M., or savor it in Apple-Cinnamon-Raisin Oatmeal.
Mustard It's heaven on a soft pretzel, but mustard may also be a weight loss wonder. Turmeric, the spice that gives mustard its color, may slow the growth of fat tissues, a study in the journal Endocrinology finds. Use it on sandwiches instead of mayo, or sprinkle turmeric on cauliflower pre-roasting to give it a kick. Try it on tuna salad—I promise it adds zest.
Oranges This citrus fruit, which contains fat-blasting compounds known as flavones, deserves to be your main squeeze. Women who ate the most flavones had a much lower increase in body fat over a 14-year period, a study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition notes. Eat oranges sliced or swig fresh OJ (including pulp!) to get the best benefit from the fruit.
Soybeans Reason to toss a half cup on your salad? Soybeans are rich in choline, a compound that blocks the absorption of fat and breaks down fatty deposits. Oh, and they're addictively delish! But if breast cancer runs in your family, experts suggest you should talk to your doc before adding soy to your diet.
Sweet potatoes The colorful spuds' high-fiber content means they keep your insulin steadier than their white sisters, which means less fat packed on your hips, research finds. Top a small baked tater with lowfat cottage cheese for a tempting side dish, or whip up Miso Soup With Sweet Potato Dumplings.
Swiss cheese Calcium-rich foods reduce fat-producing enzymes and increase fat breakdown, and Swiss has more calcium than many of its cheesy peers. Choose the reduced-fat variety, such as Sargento. Slip it into your sandwich, put it on top of high-fiber crackers or use it for a healthier grilled cheese. Yum!"
27 May, 2009
MY FRIEND MY ENEMY:
I knew him through a lady friend. I was online in messenger late 2008 when a sister friend popped up to say she had someone at her end she wanted me to meet. Allegedly he talked about so many things my friend could not cope up with him and she was thinking the two of us might just sort it well. Before I could ask any further questions a request to be added to my list came up ... in consideration to an existing friendship I dutifully clicked accept.
The very first chance of acquaintance was an outright challenge. Immediately a gush of arrogance blew from his end of the line . Apparently too evident to be true I took it as a joke and was laughing with every revelation spelled out before me. Guess it was just a matter of taking things in my own perspective. I do not talk the same way as he did and when I ever do usually it comes out insensible that I took things just as I would do it.
Too soon he literally flashed cold water right on my face when one day he came out with his naughty game. My friends were all privy to it - by then I never dream of meeting him - not with those obviously insincere " sure I will and am looking forward to seeing you " phrases most people usually and meaninglessly type on a stranger's window of a chat. As I look back to it now, I can go speechless. The point was I could have blocked him right there and then - but again - he appeared too unbelievable to take seriously that at such time when we meet online I end up giggling and even bursting into one big hearty laugh at every sarcasm he comes up with.
Physically, his photo was not one I would go gaga - vanity and conceit is surely a weakness if I may say. When it comes to friendship I tend to go deep . Intellectually, he does have something to say but again too much even for himself to listen and make sense. If he ever be famous in the social circle - his crowd is absolutely different from mine therefore I could not care more . Personally, I can say we were totally from two different worlds interacting in a totally different sphere yet the encounter stirred some kind of curiosity and interest in me maybe even a longing for something different that got me stuck.
Every chance of interaction was a calisthenics of character. When everyday I am polite and respectful because I must, he gives me the chance to be mean. Times when I am tired and quiet he would stir me up sending me to pick on words commensurate to his attacks. He is Mr. Asar.( I checked my Tagalog to find that it means to annoy ). If I was affected, surely I would never come this far ... reality check denotes that I actually enjoyed the exercise and was getting more of it. Untamed, I could have been more of an insensitive, rude and tactless person with a careless tongue and a dense heart.
Times when I need to work all day and comes home numb with fatigue, I longed for kulitan ... ( the act of being annoying). The chance makes me realize I am still alive. Times when words become too harsh and rude that I childishly cried " foul" ... somehow I can not seem to stay away from it and decided I should personally see the person behind the name and the words.
No one person in this world could totally be all good nor all bad. More everyone has our own time and reasons for becoming ourselves. Traces of both the positive and negative elements thrive in every person alive. He is not an exception.
Even through cyberspace a strong fence seemed to zealously protect something from trespassers. Insensible noises - superficial flirts and fleeting relationships - a man goes elusively sneaking out from any feel of trap. He is both obvious and vague. True, he is so many things to different people - being there as he wants people to think he is ... he plays an arduous task of fighting a right to be someone he is not but wanted to be regarded ... yet one fact a man like him will never verbally accept ... a man as he puts it ... one to be taken and read like a book ... page by page, chapter by chapter till you finish the whole lot and when you end up at the back cover you decide whether you might want to keep it.
My mortal enemy is my friend. We do not have to like each other to become friends that I decided for myself. Times when I wish we could just be one or the other but the echoes within me could not determine which one is it. I am obsessed with the interest to know more and see how far friendship could cope. So many things to say that is better left unsaid and will leave it as it is. In the meantime, I am really sleepy and must take a rest.
The very first chance of acquaintance was an outright challenge. Immediately a gush of arrogance blew from his end of the line . Apparently too evident to be true I took it as a joke and was laughing with every revelation spelled out before me. Guess it was just a matter of taking things in my own perspective. I do not talk the same way as he did and when I ever do usually it comes out insensible that I took things just as I would do it.
Too soon he literally flashed cold water right on my face when one day he came out with his naughty game. My friends were all privy to it - by then I never dream of meeting him - not with those obviously insincere " sure I will and am looking forward to seeing you " phrases most people usually and meaninglessly type on a stranger's window of a chat. As I look back to it now, I can go speechless. The point was I could have blocked him right there and then - but again - he appeared too unbelievable to take seriously that at such time when we meet online I end up giggling and even bursting into one big hearty laugh at every sarcasm he comes up with.
Physically, his photo was not one I would go gaga - vanity and conceit is surely a weakness if I may say. When it comes to friendship I tend to go deep . Intellectually, he does have something to say but again too much even for himself to listen and make sense. If he ever be famous in the social circle - his crowd is absolutely different from mine therefore I could not care more . Personally, I can say we were totally from two different worlds interacting in a totally different sphere yet the encounter stirred some kind of curiosity and interest in me maybe even a longing for something different that got me stuck.
Every chance of interaction was a calisthenics of character. When everyday I am polite and respectful because I must, he gives me the chance to be mean. Times when I am tired and quiet he would stir me up sending me to pick on words commensurate to his attacks. He is Mr. Asar.( I checked my Tagalog to find that it means to annoy ). If I was affected, surely I would never come this far ... reality check denotes that I actually enjoyed the exercise and was getting more of it. Untamed, I could have been more of an insensitive, rude and tactless person with a careless tongue and a dense heart.
Times when I need to work all day and comes home numb with fatigue, I longed for kulitan ... ( the act of being annoying). The chance makes me realize I am still alive. Times when words become too harsh and rude that I childishly cried " foul" ... somehow I can not seem to stay away from it and decided I should personally see the person behind the name and the words.
No one person in this world could totally be all good nor all bad. More everyone has our own time and reasons for becoming ourselves. Traces of both the positive and negative elements thrive in every person alive. He is not an exception.
Even through cyberspace a strong fence seemed to zealously protect something from trespassers. Insensible noises - superficial flirts and fleeting relationships - a man goes elusively sneaking out from any feel of trap. He is both obvious and vague. True, he is so many things to different people - being there as he wants people to think he is ... he plays an arduous task of fighting a right to be someone he is not but wanted to be regarded ... yet one fact a man like him will never verbally accept ... a man as he puts it ... one to be taken and read like a book ... page by page, chapter by chapter till you finish the whole lot and when you end up at the back cover you decide whether you might want to keep it.
My mortal enemy is my friend. We do not have to like each other to become friends that I decided for myself. Times when I wish we could just be one or the other but the echoes within me could not determine which one is it. I am obsessed with the interest to know more and see how far friendship could cope. So many things to say that is better left unsaid and will leave it as it is. In the meantime, I am really sleepy and must take a rest.
18 May, 2009
RANDOM 25:
1. FIRST 3 THINGS U DO WHEN U WAKE UP : a good stretch in bed to tune-in all the muscles; a few minutes of reading to give the mind a good start; a humble prayer to warm up the heart.
2. 3 OF UR ROUTINE THAT TAKES U A LONG TIME AND WHY : warm morning shower to clean me up, refresh my senses and enhance my system ... i do not get out of the water until everything has worked as i want it; doing my hair - shampoo- condition- treat - blowing and ironing ; and maybe taking that 600m walk to the workplace ...
3. UR REACTION TO FOOD : I do not usually feel hungry but I eat for energy , I am more into liquids as I tend to dehydrate easily . Heaps of juice, no coffee, a cup of tea with lemon without sugar and milk if ever I take one. Water - water - water .
4. FRIENDSHIP : I am confident to say I am an extremely loyal friend ...
5. ROMANCE : hihihi ... hard ... well I love with all my heart, care with all my might , potentially the best while the passion last....do not like that question enough.
6. 3 POSITIVE TRAITS: sense of humor to take as much sarcasm as tolerable - enough patience to endure challenges and forgiveness to an honest mistake
7. 3 ODD TRAITS : naughty - sharp when losing temper - outright when provoke
8. HAPPINESS: I am most happy when I am with people I know are honest, faithful and loyal to me. With them I care not for time, effort nor money . They are my friends and will always be there for them.
9. SADNESS: When I am cheated and used and when my friends are under assault.
10. 3 PERSONS U HAVE DEDICATED MOST ATTENTION : my daughter ; my friends ; and my special someone.
11. 3 STUPID THINGS U HAVE DONE: I made it through life feeling proud of my humble achievements and learning from my mistakes. I do not see anything of what I have been through as a waste. I may not be the best but I have done the most I can.
12. 3 THINGS YOU WANT DONE: hmmmm ... if I can make one miserable soul see that life is beautiful and let him/her have peace in his/her heart I am alright ... better if I can get more.
13. PLACES UR MOSTLY SEEN: in my bedroom - workplace - shop
14. THINGS MOST LIKELY TO BE ASSOCIATED TO YOU: lifesize mirror, personal ref , high heeled shoes, AV-home theatre set, oven, laptop , a car when I practically need to have one.
15. CLOTHES : Im not very particular about clothes - tshirts and denims will do , I like mini skirts but I feel cold here ... (hihihi) - some simple and elegant stuff for church.
16. EXPENSES U COULD DO WITHOUT BUT INSIST TO HAVE: scents - skin and hair care -
17. THINGS IN MOST WOMEN'S DESK THAT U DO NOT HAVE: make up set , jewelries and other accessories
18. R U STUBBORN? maybe just determined for I would rather do without than get something less of what I intend to get. no substitution for me ...
19. HATE: I may get hurt and stay away from the pain or stress forever but I do not hate someone.
20. LOVE: Sorry to say but I am not capable of unconditional love ... Im not religious but for all that I am my spirit feels and believe my GOD has extended me so much of unconditional love but I cant and have not done it to my fellowmen. Relationships just have to be fair...could be the blood of heroes in me ... hahahaha
21. OPPOSITE SEX : I believe men and women are complementary and supplementary - I would sweetly surrender something I enjoy for my best mate but the best could be the hardest part of it.
22. STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE: A number of people come to me to say I am strong - I have my own weaknesses which I try to resist but could not hate myself for the times I failed. I know I am not stunningly attractive but I do not strive to be. I work a decent job and do my fair share of life's duties and obligations to get me going. When the time comes I must go and so be it.
23. ANY SILLY THOUGHTS : will probably answer later ... could not think of any right now...
24. COLOUR: Coolness of Blue - Elegance of Black - Pureness of White.
25. IF U WERE: an animal ?- a lioness; a flower? - rose; a fruit ?- strawberry; a bird? - eagle
2. 3 OF UR ROUTINE THAT TAKES U A LONG TIME AND WHY : warm morning shower to clean me up, refresh my senses and enhance my system ... i do not get out of the water until everything has worked as i want it; doing my hair - shampoo- condition- treat - blowing and ironing ; and maybe taking that 600m walk to the workplace ...
3. UR REACTION TO FOOD : I do not usually feel hungry but I eat for energy , I am more into liquids as I tend to dehydrate easily . Heaps of juice, no coffee, a cup of tea with lemon without sugar and milk if ever I take one. Water - water - water .
4. FRIENDSHIP : I am confident to say I am an extremely loyal friend ...
5. ROMANCE : hihihi ... hard ... well I love with all my heart, care with all my might , potentially the best while the passion last....do not like that question enough.
6. 3 POSITIVE TRAITS: sense of humor to take as much sarcasm as tolerable - enough patience to endure challenges and forgiveness to an honest mistake
7. 3 ODD TRAITS : naughty - sharp when losing temper - outright when provoke
8. HAPPINESS: I am most happy when I am with people I know are honest, faithful and loyal to me. With them I care not for time, effort nor money . They are my friends and will always be there for them.
9. SADNESS: When I am cheated and used and when my friends are under assault.
10. 3 PERSONS U HAVE DEDICATED MOST ATTENTION : my daughter ; my friends ; and my special someone.
11. 3 STUPID THINGS U HAVE DONE: I made it through life feeling proud of my humble achievements and learning from my mistakes. I do not see anything of what I have been through as a waste. I may not be the best but I have done the most I can.
12. 3 THINGS YOU WANT DONE: hmmmm ... if I can make one miserable soul see that life is beautiful and let him/her have peace in his/her heart I am alright ... better if I can get more.
13. PLACES UR MOSTLY SEEN: in my bedroom - workplace - shop
14. THINGS MOST LIKELY TO BE ASSOCIATED TO YOU: lifesize mirror, personal ref , high heeled shoes, AV-home theatre set, oven, laptop , a car when I practically need to have one.
15. CLOTHES : Im not very particular about clothes - tshirts and denims will do , I like mini skirts but I feel cold here ... (hihihi) - some simple and elegant stuff for church.
16. EXPENSES U COULD DO WITHOUT BUT INSIST TO HAVE: scents - skin and hair care -
17. THINGS IN MOST WOMEN'S DESK THAT U DO NOT HAVE: make up set , jewelries and other accessories
18. R U STUBBORN? maybe just determined for I would rather do without than get something less of what I intend to get. no substitution for me ...
19. HATE: I may get hurt and stay away from the pain or stress forever but I do not hate someone.
20. LOVE: Sorry to say but I am not capable of unconditional love ... Im not religious but for all that I am my spirit feels and believe my GOD has extended me so much of unconditional love but I cant and have not done it to my fellowmen. Relationships just have to be fair...could be the blood of heroes in me ... hahahaha
21. OPPOSITE SEX : I believe men and women are complementary and supplementary - I would sweetly surrender something I enjoy for my best mate but the best could be the hardest part of it.
22. STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE: A number of people come to me to say I am strong - I have my own weaknesses which I try to resist but could not hate myself for the times I failed. I know I am not stunningly attractive but I do not strive to be. I work a decent job and do my fair share of life's duties and obligations to get me going. When the time comes I must go and so be it.
23. ANY SILLY THOUGHTS : will probably answer later ... could not think of any right now...
24. COLOUR: Coolness of Blue - Elegance of Black - Pureness of White.
25. IF U WERE: an animal ?- a lioness; a flower? - rose; a fruit ?- strawberry; a bird? - eagle
16 May, 2009
TAKE TIME TO READ AND PONDER:
Why is the Filipino Special?
By Ed Lapiz
Filipinos are brown. Their color is at the center of human racial strains. This point is not an attempt at racism, but just for many Filipinos to realize that our color should not be a source of or reason for an inferiority complex. While we pine for a fair complexion, white people are religiously tanning themselves, under the sun or artificial light, to approximate the Filipino complexion.
Filipinos are a touching people. We have lots of love and are not afraid to show it. We almost inevitably create human chains with our perennial akbay (putting an arm around another's shoulder), hawak(hold), yakap (embrace), himas (caressing stroke), kalabit (touching with the tip of the finger), kalong (sitting on someone else's lap), etc. We are always reaching out, always seeking interconnection.
Filipinos are linguists.. Put a Filipino in any city, any town around the world. Give him a few months or even weeks and he will speak the local language there. Filipinos are adept at learning and speaking languages.
In fact, it is not uncommon for Filipinos to speak at least three: his own local dialect, Filipino, and English. Of course, a lot speak an added language, be it Chinese, Spanish or, if he works abroad, the language of his host country. In addition, Tagalog is not 'sexist.' While many 'conscious' and 'enlightened' people of today are just by now striving to be 'politically correct' with their language and, in the process, bend to absurd depths in coining 'gender sensitive' words,
Tagalog has, since time immemorial, evolved gender-neutral words like asawa (husband or wife), anak (son or daughter), magulang (father or mother), kapatid (brother or sister), biyenan (father-in-law or mother-in-law) , manugang (son or daughter-in- law), bayani (hero or heroine), etc. Our languages and dialects are advanced and, indeed, sophisticated!
Filipinos are groupists. We love human interaction and company. We always surround ourselves with people and we hover over them, too. According to Dr. Patricia Licuanan, a psychologist from Ateneo and Miriam College , an average Filipino would have and know at least 300 relatives.
At work, we live bayanihan (mutual help); at play, we want a kalaro(playmate) more than laruan (toy). At socials, our invitations are open and it is more common even for guests to invite and bring in other guests. In transit, we do not want to be separated from our group. So what do we do when there is no more space in a vehicle? Kalung-kalong! (Sitting on one another). No one would ever suggest splitting a group
and wait for another vehicle with more space!
Filipinos are weavers. One look at our baskets, mats, clothes, and other crafts will reveal the skill of the Filipino weaver and his inclination to weaving. This art is a metaphor of the Filipino trait. We are social weavers. We weave theirs into ours that we all become parts of one another. We place a lot of premium on pakikisama (getting along) and pakikipagkapwa (relating). Two of the worst labels, walang
pakikipagkapwa (inability to relate), will be avoided by the Filipino at almost any cost. We love to blend and harmonize with people, we like to include them in our 'tribe,' our 'family'- and we like to be included in other people's families, too. Therefore we call our friend's mother nanay or mommy; we call a friend's sister ate (eldest sister), and so on. We even call strangers tia/tita (aunt) or tio/tito
(uncle), tatang (grandfather) , etc.
So extensive is our social openness and interrelations that we have specific title for extended relations like hipag (sister-in-law's spouse), balae (child-in-law' s parents), inaanak (godchild), ninong/ninang (godparents) kinakapatid (godparent's child), etc.
In addition, we have the profound 'ka' institution, loosely translated as 'equal to the same kind' as in kasama (of the same company), kaisa (of the same cause), kapanalig (of the same belief), etc. In our social fiber, we treat other people as co-equals. Filipinos, because of their social 'weaving' traditions, make for excellent team workers.
Filipinos are adventurers. We have a tradition of separation. Our myths and legends speak of heroes and heroines who almost always get separated from their families and loved ones and are taken by circumstances to far-away lands where they find wealth or power. Our Spanish colonial history is filled with separations caused by the
reduccion (hamleting), and the forced migration to build towns, churches, fortresses or galleons. American occupation enlarged the space of Filipino wandering, including America , and there is documented evidence of Filipino presence in America as far back as 1587. Now, Filipinos compose the world's largest population of overseas
workers, populating and sometimes 'threshing' major capitals, minor towns and even remote villages around the world. Filipino adventurism has made us today's citizens of the world, bringing the bagoong (salty shrimp paste), pansit (sautéed noodles), siopao (meat-filled dough),kare-kare (peanut-flavored dish), balut (unhatched duck egg), and adobo (meat vinaigrette) , including the tabo (ladle) and tsinelas (slippers) all over the world.
Filipinos are excellent at adjustments and improvisation, managing to recreate their home, or to feel at home anywhere. Filipinos have Pakiramdam (deep feeling/ discernment) . We know how to feel what others feel, sometimes even anticipate what they will feel. Being manhid (dense) is one of the worst labels anyone could get and will therefore, avoid at all cost. We know when a guest is hungry though the
insistence on being full is assured. We can tell if people are lovers even if they are miles apart. We know if a person is offended though he may purposely smile. We know because we feel. In our pakikipagkapwa(relating), we get not only to wear another man's shoe but also his heart.
We have a superbly developed and honored gift of discernment, making us excellent leaders, counselors, and go-betweens. Filipinos are very spiritual. We are transcendent. We transcend the physical world, see the unseen and hear the unheard. We have a deep sense of kaba (premonition) and kutob (hunch). A Filipino wife will instinctively feel her husband or child is going astray, whether or not telltale
signs present themselves.
Filipino spirituality makes him invoke divine presence or intervention at nearly every bend of his journey. Rightly or wrongly, Filipinos are almost always acknowledging, invoking or driving away spirits into and from their lives. Seemingly trivial or even incoherent events can take on spiritual significance and will be given such space or consideration.
The Filipino has a sophisticated, developed pakiramdam. The Filipino,though becoming more and more modern (hence, materialistic) is still very spiritual in essence. This inherent and deep spirituality makes the Filipino, once correctly Christianized, a major exponent of the faith.
Filipinos are timeless. Despite the nearly half-a-millennium encroachment of the western clock into our lives, Filipinos-unless on very formal or official functions-still measure time not with hours and minutes but with feeling. This style is ingrained deep in our psyche. Our time is diffused, not framed. Our appointments are defined by umaga (morning), tanghali (noon ), hapon (afternoon), or gabi (evening). Our most exact time reference is probably katanghaliang- tapat (high noon), which still allows many minutes of leeway. That is how Filipino meetings and occasions are timed: there is really no definite time.. A Filipino event has no clear-cut beginning nor ending. We have a fiesta, but there is visperas (eve), a day after the fiesta is still considered a good time to visit. The Filipino Christmas is not confined to December 25th; it somehow begins months before December and extends
up to the first days of January.
Filipinos say good-bye to guests first at the head of the stairs, then down to the descanso (landing), to the entresuelo (mezanine), to the pintuan (doorway), to the trangkahan (gate), and if the departing persons are to take public transportation, up to the bus stop or bus station.
In a way, other people's tardiness and extended stays can really be annoying, but this peculiarity is the same charm of Filipinos who, being governed by timelessness, can show how to find more time to be nice, kind, and accommodating than his prompt and exact brothers elsewhere.
Filipinos are Spaceless. As in the concept of time, the Filipino concept of space is not numerical. We will not usually express expanse of space with miles or kilometers but with feelings in how we say malayo (far)or malapit (near). Alongside with numberlessness, Filipino space is also boundless. Indigenous culture did not divide land into private lots but kept it open for all to partake of its abundance.
The Filipino has avidly remained 'spaceless' in many ways. The interior of the bahay-kubo (hut) can easily become receiving room, sleeping room, kitchen, dining room, chapel, wake parlor, etc. Depending on the time of the day or the needs of the moment.
The same is true with the bahay na bato (stone house). Space just flows into the next space that the divisions between the sala, caida, comedor, or vilada may only be faintly suggested by overhead arches offiligree. In much the same way, Filipino concept of space can be so diffused that one 's party may creep into and actually expropriate the street! A family business like a sari-sari store or talyer may extend
to the sidewalk and street. Provincial folks dry palayan (rice grain)on the highways!
Religious groups of various persuasions habitually and matter-of-factly commandeer streets for processions and parades. It is not uncommon to close a street to accommodate private functions, Filipinos eat. sleep, chat, socialize, quarrel, even urinate, or nearly everywhere or just anywhere! 'Spacelessness, ' in the face of modern, especially urban life, can be unlawful and may really be counter-productive. On the other hand, Filipino spacelessness, when viewed from his context, is
just another manifestation of his spiritually and communal values. Adapted well to today's context, which may mean unstoppable urbanization, Filipino spacelessness may even be the answer and counter balance to humanity's greed, selfishness and isolation.
So what makes the Filipino special? Brown, spiritual, timeless,spaceless, linguists, groupists, weavers, adventurers; seldom do all these profound qualities find personification in a people. Filipinos should allow - and should be allowed to contribute their special traits to the world-wide community of men - ah. . .. . but first, they should know and like themselves.
By Ed Lapiz
Filipinos are brown. Their color is at the center of human racial strains. This point is not an attempt at racism, but just for many Filipinos to realize that our color should not be a source of or reason for an inferiority complex. While we pine for a fair complexion, white people are religiously tanning themselves, under the sun or artificial light, to approximate the Filipino complexion.
Filipinos are a touching people. We have lots of love and are not afraid to show it. We almost inevitably create human chains with our perennial akbay (putting an arm around another's shoulder), hawak(hold), yakap (embrace), himas (caressing stroke), kalabit (touching with the tip of the finger), kalong (sitting on someone else's lap), etc. We are always reaching out, always seeking interconnection.
Filipinos are linguists.. Put a Filipino in any city, any town around the world. Give him a few months or even weeks and he will speak the local language there. Filipinos are adept at learning and speaking languages.
In fact, it is not uncommon for Filipinos to speak at least three: his own local dialect, Filipino, and English. Of course, a lot speak an added language, be it Chinese, Spanish or, if he works abroad, the language of his host country. In addition, Tagalog is not 'sexist.' While many 'conscious' and 'enlightened' people of today are just by now striving to be 'politically correct' with their language and, in the process, bend to absurd depths in coining 'gender sensitive' words,
Tagalog has, since time immemorial, evolved gender-neutral words like asawa (husband or wife), anak (son or daughter), magulang (father or mother), kapatid (brother or sister), biyenan (father-in-law or mother-in-law) , manugang (son or daughter-in- law), bayani (hero or heroine), etc. Our languages and dialects are advanced and, indeed, sophisticated!
Filipinos are groupists. We love human interaction and company. We always surround ourselves with people and we hover over them, too. According to Dr. Patricia Licuanan, a psychologist from Ateneo and Miriam College , an average Filipino would have and know at least 300 relatives.
At work, we live bayanihan (mutual help); at play, we want a kalaro(playmate) more than laruan (toy). At socials, our invitations are open and it is more common even for guests to invite and bring in other guests. In transit, we do not want to be separated from our group. So what do we do when there is no more space in a vehicle? Kalung-kalong! (Sitting on one another). No one would ever suggest splitting a group
and wait for another vehicle with more space!
Filipinos are weavers. One look at our baskets, mats, clothes, and other crafts will reveal the skill of the Filipino weaver and his inclination to weaving. This art is a metaphor of the Filipino trait. We are social weavers. We weave theirs into ours that we all become parts of one another. We place a lot of premium on pakikisama (getting along) and pakikipagkapwa (relating). Two of the worst labels, walang
pakikipagkapwa (inability to relate), will be avoided by the Filipino at almost any cost. We love to blend and harmonize with people, we like to include them in our 'tribe,' our 'family'- and we like to be included in other people's families, too. Therefore we call our friend's mother nanay or mommy; we call a friend's sister ate (eldest sister), and so on. We even call strangers tia/tita (aunt) or tio/tito
(uncle), tatang (grandfather) , etc.
So extensive is our social openness and interrelations that we have specific title for extended relations like hipag (sister-in-law's spouse), balae (child-in-law' s parents), inaanak (godchild), ninong/ninang (godparents) kinakapatid (godparent's child), etc.
In addition, we have the profound 'ka' institution, loosely translated as 'equal to the same kind' as in kasama (of the same company), kaisa (of the same cause), kapanalig (of the same belief), etc. In our social fiber, we treat other people as co-equals. Filipinos, because of their social 'weaving' traditions, make for excellent team workers.
Filipinos are adventurers. We have a tradition of separation. Our myths and legends speak of heroes and heroines who almost always get separated from their families and loved ones and are taken by circumstances to far-away lands where they find wealth or power. Our Spanish colonial history is filled with separations caused by the
reduccion (hamleting), and the forced migration to build towns, churches, fortresses or galleons. American occupation enlarged the space of Filipino wandering, including America , and there is documented evidence of Filipino presence in America as far back as 1587. Now, Filipinos compose the world's largest population of overseas
workers, populating and sometimes 'threshing' major capitals, minor towns and even remote villages around the world. Filipino adventurism has made us today's citizens of the world, bringing the bagoong (salty shrimp paste), pansit (sautéed noodles), siopao (meat-filled dough),kare-kare (peanut-flavored dish), balut (unhatched duck egg), and adobo (meat vinaigrette) , including the tabo (ladle) and tsinelas (slippers) all over the world.
Filipinos are excellent at adjustments and improvisation, managing to recreate their home, or to feel at home anywhere. Filipinos have Pakiramdam (deep feeling/ discernment) . We know how to feel what others feel, sometimes even anticipate what they will feel. Being manhid (dense) is one of the worst labels anyone could get and will therefore, avoid at all cost. We know when a guest is hungry though the
insistence on being full is assured. We can tell if people are lovers even if they are miles apart. We know if a person is offended though he may purposely smile. We know because we feel. In our pakikipagkapwa(relating), we get not only to wear another man's shoe but also his heart.
We have a superbly developed and honored gift of discernment, making us excellent leaders, counselors, and go-betweens. Filipinos are very spiritual. We are transcendent. We transcend the physical world, see the unseen and hear the unheard. We have a deep sense of kaba (premonition) and kutob (hunch). A Filipino wife will instinctively feel her husband or child is going astray, whether or not telltale
signs present themselves.
Filipino spirituality makes him invoke divine presence or intervention at nearly every bend of his journey. Rightly or wrongly, Filipinos are almost always acknowledging, invoking or driving away spirits into and from their lives. Seemingly trivial or even incoherent events can take on spiritual significance and will be given such space or consideration.
The Filipino has a sophisticated, developed pakiramdam. The Filipino,though becoming more and more modern (hence, materialistic) is still very spiritual in essence. This inherent and deep spirituality makes the Filipino, once correctly Christianized, a major exponent of the faith.
Filipinos are timeless. Despite the nearly half-a-millennium encroachment of the western clock into our lives, Filipinos-unless on very formal or official functions-still measure time not with hours and minutes but with feeling. This style is ingrained deep in our psyche. Our time is diffused, not framed. Our appointments are defined by umaga (morning), tanghali (noon ), hapon (afternoon), or gabi (evening). Our most exact time reference is probably katanghaliang- tapat (high noon), which still allows many minutes of leeway. That is how Filipino meetings and occasions are timed: there is really no definite time.. A Filipino event has no clear-cut beginning nor ending. We have a fiesta, but there is visperas (eve), a day after the fiesta is still considered a good time to visit. The Filipino Christmas is not confined to December 25th; it somehow begins months before December and extends
up to the first days of January.
Filipinos say good-bye to guests first at the head of the stairs, then down to the descanso (landing), to the entresuelo (mezanine), to the pintuan (doorway), to the trangkahan (gate), and if the departing persons are to take public transportation, up to the bus stop or bus station.
In a way, other people's tardiness and extended stays can really be annoying, but this peculiarity is the same charm of Filipinos who, being governed by timelessness, can show how to find more time to be nice, kind, and accommodating than his prompt and exact brothers elsewhere.
Filipinos are Spaceless. As in the concept of time, the Filipino concept of space is not numerical. We will not usually express expanse of space with miles or kilometers but with feelings in how we say malayo (far)or malapit (near). Alongside with numberlessness, Filipino space is also boundless. Indigenous culture did not divide land into private lots but kept it open for all to partake of its abundance.
The Filipino has avidly remained 'spaceless' in many ways. The interior of the bahay-kubo (hut) can easily become receiving room, sleeping room, kitchen, dining room, chapel, wake parlor, etc. Depending on the time of the day or the needs of the moment.
The same is true with the bahay na bato (stone house). Space just flows into the next space that the divisions between the sala, caida, comedor, or vilada may only be faintly suggested by overhead arches offiligree. In much the same way, Filipino concept of space can be so diffused that one 's party may creep into and actually expropriate the street! A family business like a sari-sari store or talyer may extend
to the sidewalk and street. Provincial folks dry palayan (rice grain)on the highways!
Religious groups of various persuasions habitually and matter-of-factly commandeer streets for processions and parades. It is not uncommon to close a street to accommodate private functions, Filipinos eat. sleep, chat, socialize, quarrel, even urinate, or nearly everywhere or just anywhere! 'Spacelessness, ' in the face of modern, especially urban life, can be unlawful and may really be counter-productive. On the other hand, Filipino spacelessness, when viewed from his context, is
just another manifestation of his spiritually and communal values. Adapted well to today's context, which may mean unstoppable urbanization, Filipino spacelessness may even be the answer and counter balance to humanity's greed, selfishness and isolation.
So what makes the Filipino special? Brown, spiritual, timeless,spaceless, linguists, groupists, weavers, adventurers; seldom do all these profound qualities find personification in a people. Filipinos should allow - and should be allowed to contribute their special traits to the world-wide community of men - ah. . .. . but first, they should know and like themselves.
24 March, 2009
THE POWER OF WORDS:
In one of the seminars I attended about alternative medicine we were told about energy healing. At first my doctor and I found it hard to reconcile the idea of manipulating the energy centers to heal physical problems ( quite hard to note why the foot should me pressed to ease an upset tummy )... yet when I went home I accidentally sat on the stereo component's remote control. I saw the knob moved without me touching it and the volume went loud . I thought a ghost was playing with me. By then I realized energy works.
Then the lecturer pointed out the power of words ... she said words are so energized and powerful that one should be extra careful with how we use it. The bottom - line was ... we lived with nature and its forces which work in a state of balance which spells out health, well-being and bliss ... that what goes around comes around ... and what you give you receive and you get it back a hundred fold.
I could not tell whether I am just too accommodating with the idea or whatever but I always believed in taking care of whatever I say. More so when we launched the Gender Sensitivity Development Program when we were made aware of changes in terms to appropriately show respect and consider the impact of terms to people. So many times - I am moved by silly circumstances that I do utter words in disappointment - times when I can only say sorry you have asked for it. Yet I do not feel well saying things out of anger; that explains why I take refuge in the privacy of my room when I am mad and I would rather listen than speak out.
It has always dawned on me that when a person start saying things he spells out his own accountability for the things he says. When a person fails to come up with what people expect from him because of the things he had said ... he turns out a brag.
My Literature teacher would be glad to know I still live by the things she taught her class years ago ... So many poems and prose that we took in class which make sense in my adult life. Desiderata and The Arrow and the Song are just some of the literary works that do stay in my heart after all these time.
The Arrow and the Song
By: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
Then the lecturer pointed out the power of words ... she said words are so energized and powerful that one should be extra careful with how we use it. The bottom - line was ... we lived with nature and its forces which work in a state of balance which spells out health, well-being and bliss ... that what goes around comes around ... and what you give you receive and you get it back a hundred fold.
I could not tell whether I am just too accommodating with the idea or whatever but I always believed in taking care of whatever I say. More so when we launched the Gender Sensitivity Development Program when we were made aware of changes in terms to appropriately show respect and consider the impact of terms to people. So many times - I am moved by silly circumstances that I do utter words in disappointment - times when I can only say sorry you have asked for it. Yet I do not feel well saying things out of anger; that explains why I take refuge in the privacy of my room when I am mad and I would rather listen than speak out.
It has always dawned on me that when a person start saying things he spells out his own accountability for the things he says. When a person fails to come up with what people expect from him because of the things he had said ... he turns out a brag.
My Literature teacher would be glad to know I still live by the things she taught her class years ago ... So many poems and prose that we took in class which make sense in my adult life. Desiderata and The Arrow and the Song are just some of the literary works that do stay in my heart after all these time.
The Arrow and the Song
By: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
06 March, 2009
The Game Players Play:
It is fun and can be challenging at times. For everything that there is in the game you just need a keen sense of humor and a strong will and heart to resist. At the end of the day, remember it is all a game that players play and you decided to play it as well.
It dates back to who knows when ... men pursuing women and vice-versa ... people touching each others emotions, sometimes pushing the other to insanity and tears ... romantic dramas ... heart rendering and annoying at times but as always time heals and again it is all a game that people play and which you entered as well.
I was busy working on my power point presentation for the lecture that I was to give on one of the trainings that the office had to conduct. Sitting long hours on the computer, waiting for some downloads to enhance the presentation makes it boring. My office mate came up and told me about a music sharing site. After work we explored the room together and there we were, joking, playing, laughing and enjoying with the keyboard.
She shared her tunes, chat with the rest in there and there I was interacting and responding to every joke that came my way. Not long came the personal messages, the flirting and the the flattery. It was different with individuals in person, where and when you can look straight into the eyes, or see the dirt embedded on your chat-mates fingernail beds, or as the song goes " guilty feet losing its rhythm" or a quivering voice and the awkward smiles of a lying mouth.
Cyberspace gives the players a chance to pretend and even believe it is true. I have always mistrust the net but we are all in this state of technology and what can we do but just find our best path into such world. Acquaintances hiding in aliases grew in the list. Some most eager to speak about themselves, some sounding shy and humble , some funny, some loud ... but I could not be bothered.
Then my computer accumulated all sorts of virus and I started complaining to a friend. She took one of her internet admirers to fix it for me and there goes the skirt chasing. Obviously I wore the skirt. The premise was he was a poor patient and faithful husband living with a cheating, inconsiderate wife hopefully waiting for a worthy lady to grab by her side ... hihihi ... what about that ? ( shall i say more?)
Another one was not actually a cyber-guy. He was introduced by a friend who was going out with him and we just picked it up in the internet. He readily went loose with his perversion which for the first time in my " frog's life" I felt like cold water was thrown right on my face. With that, a friend and I parted ways when out of her own mental thrill perhaps she carry on with his pervert acts under my account. I decided to meet the guy in person who was just as he is ... raw and outright, who played the game without barely a blink in the eye, totally without inhibition.
More and more and more they came ... As I come to think about it ... I realize that I am actually just bored and wasting my time. It feels like sitting in a bar, gulping wine and blowing smoke just to pass the boredom, or maybe even dancing with a wild, untamed creature at a dance floor ... ( things I never do ) but as I have said ... it can be fun and challenging when you just have to keep your wits and stay in control as you are manipulated, pushed, shaken or even winded up. It is some kind of a mental and maybe emotional calisthenics dealing with all sorts of psychological void expressed by personalities of different types and staying safe and sound at the end. I probably would be too scared to be with a maniac in person.
A friend though has a good story to tell. She is happily and fruitfully married to a cyber friend and I wish the best for the rest. The game after all is called BOREDOM and the rule is simple ... " KNOW THYSELF ".
It dates back to who knows when ... men pursuing women and vice-versa ... people touching each others emotions, sometimes pushing the other to insanity and tears ... romantic dramas ... heart rendering and annoying at times but as always time heals and again it is all a game that people play and which you entered as well.
I was busy working on my power point presentation for the lecture that I was to give on one of the trainings that the office had to conduct. Sitting long hours on the computer, waiting for some downloads to enhance the presentation makes it boring. My office mate came up and told me about a music sharing site. After work we explored the room together and there we were, joking, playing, laughing and enjoying with the keyboard.
She shared her tunes, chat with the rest in there and there I was interacting and responding to every joke that came my way. Not long came the personal messages, the flirting and the the flattery. It was different with individuals in person, where and when you can look straight into the eyes, or see the dirt embedded on your chat-mates fingernail beds, or as the song goes " guilty feet losing its rhythm" or a quivering voice and the awkward smiles of a lying mouth.
Cyberspace gives the players a chance to pretend and even believe it is true. I have always mistrust the net but we are all in this state of technology and what can we do but just find our best path into such world. Acquaintances hiding in aliases grew in the list. Some most eager to speak about themselves, some sounding shy and humble , some funny, some loud ... but I could not be bothered.
Then my computer accumulated all sorts of virus and I started complaining to a friend. She took one of her internet admirers to fix it for me and there goes the skirt chasing. Obviously I wore the skirt. The premise was he was a poor patient and faithful husband living with a cheating, inconsiderate wife hopefully waiting for a worthy lady to grab by her side ... hihihi ... what about that ? ( shall i say more?)
Another one was not actually a cyber-guy. He was introduced by a friend who was going out with him and we just picked it up in the internet. He readily went loose with his perversion which for the first time in my " frog's life" I felt like cold water was thrown right on my face. With that, a friend and I parted ways when out of her own mental thrill perhaps she carry on with his pervert acts under my account. I decided to meet the guy in person who was just as he is ... raw and outright, who played the game without barely a blink in the eye, totally without inhibition.
More and more and more they came ... As I come to think about it ... I realize that I am actually just bored and wasting my time. It feels like sitting in a bar, gulping wine and blowing smoke just to pass the boredom, or maybe even dancing with a wild, untamed creature at a dance floor ... ( things I never do ) but as I have said ... it can be fun and challenging when you just have to keep your wits and stay in control as you are manipulated, pushed, shaken or even winded up. It is some kind of a mental and maybe emotional calisthenics dealing with all sorts of psychological void expressed by personalities of different types and staying safe and sound at the end. I probably would be too scared to be with a maniac in person.
A friend though has a good story to tell. She is happily and fruitfully married to a cyber friend and I wish the best for the rest. The game after all is called BOREDOM and the rule is simple ... " KNOW THYSELF ".
01 February, 2009
Subject: FW: Invisible Mother Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
Doug Larson
Invisible Mother...... .
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of
response,the way one of the kids will walk into the room while
I'm on the phone (or even on the toilet) and ask to be taken
somewhere.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm busy?'Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one
can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you
open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm
a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer,
'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a taxi to order, 'Right
around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated suma cum laude
- but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going
on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together
so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of
what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of
their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no
credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit
the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving
a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the
man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a
beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'
And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you,
Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one
around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've
sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will become..'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is
the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.
As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on...
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals
could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people
willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at
4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies. Then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'
That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just
want him to want to come home.. And then, if there is anything more
to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not
only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to
the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
(This has been shared by a fellow mom in our group site and am just struck by its message that I reposted it here for two reason: 1) For my friends who are either moms themselves or someday will be and 2) To let my friends know that at times I felt the same way too.)
Doug Larson
Invisible Mother...... .
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of
response,the way one of the kids will walk into the room while
I'm on the phone (or even on the toilet) and ask to be taken
somewhere.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm busy?'Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one
can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you
open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm
a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer,
'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a taxi to order, 'Right
around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated suma cum laude
- but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going
on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together
so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of
what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of
their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no
credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit
the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving
a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the
man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a
beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'
And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you,
Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one
around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've
sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will become..'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is
the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.
As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on...
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals
could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people
willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at
4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies. Then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'
That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just
want him to want to come home.. And then, if there is anything more
to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not
only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to
the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
(This has been shared by a fellow mom in our group site and am just struck by its message that I reposted it here for two reason: 1) For my friends who are either moms themselves or someday will be and 2) To let my friends know that at times I felt the same way too.)
18 January, 2009
ON BEING A FILIPINO
One of the first things that we have to be comfortable when we arrived New Zealand were the commonly used VOCABULARIES. We ordered a meal at an Asian food shop and the staff asked, " eat here or take away ". It was easy to understand what she meant as there was a previous phrase to consider "eat here or " although we expected to hear "take out " ... There were more terms to consider ... tap for faucet, cupboard for the usual cabinet, tram for train or top up to mean adding credit to one's mobile account. When the flat manager made her orientation on the night of our arrival she was talking of "whites" which somehow included the refrigerator, stove top with oven, washing machine, microwave and etc. Flat was what could have been called an apartment unit where we were to stay. The weather was cold and there was not much use for the word aircon or a/c; or brown out ( black out) as there was no power outages. Although when caught unaware I am still comfortable saying ay/ oy and opps. Somehow I learned to use toilet rather than comfort room. Otherwise, personally I continue to say ... ref ... aray instead of ouch ...ahh ching to sneeze ... start a statement with actually if I want to stress a point ... associate a DOM for a rich, elderly man who offers indecent proposals, calls OA the drama queens and princesses, but would rather NOT go TNT if worst turns to worst. When lavishly praised, I feel more comfortable to say ... di naman ... yet a thank you is always ready for any kind words.
What I never dared to use even when I was home were these terms: Colgate, Kutex, and Betamax for their generic names. Being called hoy and a pssst simply upsets me. I only typed pssst when I playfully get someone's attention in the chat but do not actually say it. I loved my very first New Zealand boss' accent, and I just could not take my eyes off her lips when we talk ... when I listened to conversations in public, I realized the locals normally sounds like asking a question when they end a phrase - yet it makes me feel weird listening to my friends trying so hard to mimic the local accent - it just does not sound right. It is better to be natural and I made it a rule just for myself. Correct gender is a must in every sentence but I do have the tendency to interchange the pronouns especially when the conversation get going fast. At work, I do ask the residents/patients " do you want me to close the light ? " or would you like your lights on or off?
As to Home Furnishings: I did go around looking for a tabo and I got mine for NZ$3.00 which translates to Php 90.00. You bet, I do not leave my dipper wherever I go and surely every Filipino woman could imagine what I use it for unless they do not do it for themselves. Life would not be the same without a video microphone - it is part of my treasured possession. I may not have a fly swat but I do roll a newspaper to hit all the flies that catches my sight. Rice dispenser can just be anything but a rice cooker is definitely indispensable.
Icons and religious portraits are not found in my place. Quilted covers on appliances I do not bother anymore as I do not get much dust here.The big wooden fork and spoon was never a part of my wall even when I was home and a pail is definitely an extra useless item in the bathroom here. What I found hard to handle, harder than the vacuum cleaner was the local broom ... it is too bulky and heavy.
Mannerisms/Personality Traits: I do nod my head upwards to greet someone and kiss relatives and friends when seeing them in a certain place. What I wanted doing is kissing the hands in blessing like what I used to do to my old folks when I was very young . I love the sun, unfortunately the sun dehydrates me too easily and gives me chills at night. I am not very gracious as to be offering my food to everybody, but I do share my M and Ms and Eclipse mints. I got my mother's name for a middle name yes and I do have my own way of scratching my head for some reasons not just on the chat windows but in person as well. I am comfortable hugging my gay friends and walk with them arm to arm ... but I prefer to be held by the waste rather than carry anyone's arms on my shoulders .... ngehhhh heavy . As my personal rule I never sit on bowls of public toilets neither do I squat over it and I never flushed the toilet with my feet.
I do twirl my pen between my fingers ( I do not know why). One lesson I have known by heart from my childhood is never to waste food and I do squeezed my toothpaste tube paper thin. I do not mind sending money to relatives or friends in the Philippines for as long as it is not dictated on me. I do not mind leaving my shoes at the door if it must spare my host's carpet getting soiled. I am confident having to use my fingers to measure the water when cooking rice rather than using the measuring cup. I do use grocery bags to hold the rubbish. It makes me uncomfortable to have someone pay for my dinner bill more I mind paying for others bills unless I invited them and offered a treat. I do not bother passing messages although I do make it a point to say something to a friend if just to let them know I care.
FAMILY AND RELATIVES: Most of my relatives are in the medical field, I am a nurse and so are most of my cousins.others are in business but not real estate. I may venture into it someday ... it is my wish. Friends call me with a name that is repeated but I can do with just one syllable of it. I know my relatives till the third degree but we were never as closely knitted. My father was definitely not from the navy. Smelling kisses from grandma is one of the things I missed . I did not have the chance to live with my own parents I do not have an idea how call each other. I would prefer to call my partner "Ga" .
FOODS: This category should make me very Filipino and let me tell you how far. I love eating chocolate rice pudding but dried fish has to be a particular specie of fish not just anything for it to be a good morning meal. I am not much of a softdrink user but yes I get it instead of a soda. Fresh pot of hot rice is always appreciated. I will order breakfast item eg., tapsilog,longsilog, tocilog and I missed it already. I may fry Spam and hotdogs and eat them with rice and if I ever bring baon it may be over rice still. I would understand goldilocks mean more than a fairytale character and would bring some of its products if I can. I missed eating purple yam flavored ice cream but I do not go out looking for one. I will put hotdogs in spaghetti, have supply of frozen lumpia in freezer, eat rice for breakfast and definitely prefer my shrimps with the head and legs and even whiskers on it.I do not dip bread in morning coffee, tea or chocolate drink. I am not happy bringing messy things in my bag and that includes hot containers that gets wet with its moisture. I bring energy bars, cookies and the like and yes it is still baon. I used to think that half hatched duck egg ( balut) is delicious but I can not manage to swallow it now. No I am not very fond of halohalo and I do not have an ice shaver. I know that chocolate meat is not made of chocolate but I can not eat it. I do not drink beer but if ever I do I might just have it refrigerated rather that with ice. It alters the taste.
Regardless of what I am or what I will become I am still a Filipino and proud to be one. The prose I AM A FILIPINO by Carlos P. Romulo should inspire everyone with the tinge of Filipino blood in him/her.
04 January, 2009
RELIABILITY and FRIENDSHIP
I met Ryan with his Mom in one of the meetings my agent called for. Some issues were going on and has to be sorted till our visa will be released. At that point, we were both happy to say that we will be there for each other when the time comes.
I happened to leave two weeks before Ryan yet on the next batch of input coming after me, we fell into each others arms on a big HUG. Ryan is a gay, and by all means he is what he is. He became the life of the group, he gathered so many friends even spent more time with them than we do. I had my own steps to make and was getting things done that practically - although we meet at certain times and enjoy some moments we never really come too close as to be side by side every time unlike some who were never away whenever and wherever I am.
Yet Ryan stood differently from among the others - straight or gay. Ryan knew that there were people who wanted to discredit me. Without me knowing it, there were people who tried to compete and rival with me at my back. There were people who wanted to pull and keep me down. And to all these people Ryan was there to even lie, boast and brag for me just to keep me on top. Ryan comes to me to encourage me to be strong. He tells me why I should be more credible than my counterpart and why I should be proud of what I got. Sometimes it gets funny when I had to ride on his jokes just to save his own face.
Then comes a more sensitive and more complicated issue. We had never talked for a long time then. If he must have heard of things, surely he got it from gossips. Very shortly before then, I knew he was into trouble himself. But when the time came, when he crossed the path where he was to show his loyalty, Ryan came up and bravely stood up to declare his allegiance to a friend. I did not expect him to do all those things. The most touching was I got the details of how he dared and courageously took my side from the very person that I was at odds.
Every thing is well and fine with us now. But Ryan was after all the best I got. I am not taking it against the others who wanted to play neutral. Yet, should I look back to what happened and remember what they have to say. I would expect that they can not be sincere with me as well. Sometimes we just have to say and show where we are if just to spell out our sincerity to a friend. As I can not tell Ryan how much I am very thankful of his friendship ... I want the world to know RYAN is as good as gold. He can be trusted.
02 January, 2009
Please Bless My Heart
A few hours before the first day of calendar year 2009 and my cellphone started to vibrate. Personal messages came popping out on the screen of the computer as well. It will be New Year and my friends were in the mood of celebrating, sending greetings and wishing the best in the days to come. This has always been the scenario we are used to ... in some homes were elaborate preparation for an evening meal, fireworks, maybe wine, songs and dances. On my third New Year in NZ though I got sick.
Afternoon of New Year's day I was rostered to work and I got another call for a double shift - it had to be a NO this time. The bug needed to rest. So right after things were done I immediately headed for home to grab some sleep - my mind started to wander. Oh I never realized I got these people keeping me in their phone books or messenger lists.
R was rather a shy, quiet guy and he never came close to me in friendship but he surely remembered me when he said - "happy new year RN." One lady, who I have seen as a socially isolated and distant person impressed me with her message that goes ..."Hi Chiki, Happy New Year! Just wondering where you are now - should you have time to visit Auckland send me a message." Then a Thai lady I met on the train came in as well, we just met once during my competency course and had a meal at one of the shops in Porirua and she remembered well. Several others, through their own means came in wishing the bug well.
It made me think deeper now ... so many times I said - friends I only have a few but this time I asked myself have I been too insensitive to care for the others? A man keeps telling me ... you are extremely possessive ... and I must admit I am very exclusive. What is mine is mine otherwise it is not mine and I don't care where the others stray for as long as near or far I have the loyalty of the few I believed is mine.
So i come to think about the people who came my way. Flor is a young nice lady, she has her own story to tell. One night as we were talking just shortly before we went to sleep I told her. It hurts me to hurt other people but I had been incessantly provoked and had taken retaliation. My spirit is totally devastated now not for anyone but because I realized it has made me less of what I should have become. In all wisdom and understanding she replied, learn to forgive yourself and trust in God. If in goodness God allowed it to happen, you might just well be an instrument to unconsciously save a friend or make one person better.
Then is another person named Lee, she is absolutely soft spoken, any time and any season. When she is upset, she talks about it but she is always in her kindly pleasant manners. She calls me when it is time for tea breaks, she makes me feel like I am always taken cared of. My heart tells me she is absolutely a good person.
One afternoon, my co staff noticed how I got some extra affinity to one of our residents. He said, " why do you care for her so much, she is naughty is it because you can see your naughty self in her?" . The resident was an old, little darling to me. She has cancer, more she is confused by age. She upsets other residents when she opens and strays on others' doors. She gets curses for her wanderings but when people starts getting aggressive and mad she does not look a wee bit challenge and respond with her own cursings as well.I don't know but I really find it funny.
When she became too tired to get up, I made it a point to see her first every time I come to work. She would give me that peculiar naughty wink and smile, calls me little devil chicky chuck, ( whatever that means) and says " you are so kind, thank you dear. " She gets grumpy and hits when she is done, I believe it is only because she is in pain and probably because she is angry and on denial that she can not do most of the things anymore. One day when I voluntarily fed her, missing the time when we laughed and joked, she touched me by the shoulder and said " I am sorry dear."
I know most people see me as firm, yet calm and cool. One time, a resident simply sent me berserk. Her shrill voice, and her eh eh, no good, no good, enhanced by her pointing finger simply got into my nerves. Another staff saw me, and with empathy she finished the work. I went out of the room but before I reached the next door I realized I failed that time. I did not go near the resident for three days, till one day she waved her hand for me. I did not mind her but I realized she was after all right. It was time for her medication so I hurriedly went back. I told her, are you alright today? I have your medication with me. As if blown by some magical winds, she responded somewhat defeated and dismayed ... I am no good, no good .
So another calendar year has come with its own set of dates to live each day. The past year has gone and there were people I spent time with, maybe more time than I should and most of them who knows where ... yet many others I never had moments with but they came wishing me well. As another year starts I pray for my own heart. May it has room enough to accommodate everyone worthy of its cares and simply goes numb for those who are merely teasers.
Afternoon of New Year's day I was rostered to work and I got another call for a double shift - it had to be a NO this time. The bug needed to rest. So right after things were done I immediately headed for home to grab some sleep - my mind started to wander. Oh I never realized I got these people keeping me in their phone books or messenger lists.
R was rather a shy, quiet guy and he never came close to me in friendship but he surely remembered me when he said - "happy new year RN." One lady, who I have seen as a socially isolated and distant person impressed me with her message that goes ..."Hi Chiki, Happy New Year! Just wondering where you are now - should you have time to visit Auckland send me a message." Then a Thai lady I met on the train came in as well, we just met once during my competency course and had a meal at one of the shops in Porirua and she remembered well. Several others, through their own means came in wishing the bug well.
It made me think deeper now ... so many times I said - friends I only have a few but this time I asked myself have I been too insensitive to care for the others? A man keeps telling me ... you are extremely possessive ... and I must admit I am very exclusive. What is mine is mine otherwise it is not mine and I don't care where the others stray for as long as near or far I have the loyalty of the few I believed is mine.
So i come to think about the people who came my way. Flor is a young nice lady, she has her own story to tell. One night as we were talking just shortly before we went to sleep I told her. It hurts me to hurt other people but I had been incessantly provoked and had taken retaliation. My spirit is totally devastated now not for anyone but because I realized it has made me less of what I should have become. In all wisdom and understanding she replied, learn to forgive yourself and trust in God. If in goodness God allowed it to happen, you might just well be an instrument to unconsciously save a friend or make one person better.
Then is another person named Lee, she is absolutely soft spoken, any time and any season. When she is upset, she talks about it but she is always in her kindly pleasant manners. She calls me when it is time for tea breaks, she makes me feel like I am always taken cared of. My heart tells me she is absolutely a good person.
One afternoon, my co staff noticed how I got some extra affinity to one of our residents. He said, " why do you care for her so much, she is naughty is it because you can see your naughty self in her?" . The resident was an old, little darling to me. She has cancer, more she is confused by age. She upsets other residents when she opens and strays on others' doors. She gets curses for her wanderings but when people starts getting aggressive and mad she does not look a wee bit challenge and respond with her own cursings as well.I don't know but I really find it funny.
When she became too tired to get up, I made it a point to see her first every time I come to work. She would give me that peculiar naughty wink and smile, calls me little devil chicky chuck, ( whatever that means) and says " you are so kind, thank you dear. " She gets grumpy and hits when she is done, I believe it is only because she is in pain and probably because she is angry and on denial that she can not do most of the things anymore. One day when I voluntarily fed her, missing the time when we laughed and joked, she touched me by the shoulder and said " I am sorry dear."
I know most people see me as firm, yet calm and cool. One time, a resident simply sent me berserk. Her shrill voice, and her eh eh, no good, no good, enhanced by her pointing finger simply got into my nerves. Another staff saw me, and with empathy she finished the work. I went out of the room but before I reached the next door I realized I failed that time. I did not go near the resident for three days, till one day she waved her hand for me. I did not mind her but I realized she was after all right. It was time for her medication so I hurriedly went back. I told her, are you alright today? I have your medication with me. As if blown by some magical winds, she responded somewhat defeated and dismayed ... I am no good, no good .
So another calendar year has come with its own set of dates to live each day. The past year has gone and there were people I spent time with, maybe more time than I should and most of them who knows where ... yet many others I never had moments with but they came wishing me well. As another year starts I pray for my own heart. May it has room enough to accommodate everyone worthy of its cares and simply goes numb for those who are merely teasers.
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