The Choice

He came into my life at a time when I was nursing a bad heart - everything was simply wrong and out of place. Then a lady acquaintance introduced him to me. This lady if I must remember had at one time gave me a nuisance admirer when she could not handle the guy right. I just realized she did it again this time.

The first time I heard the man talking - the air of arrogance was visible in his personality. He openly declared how he finds himself glamorous, and highly sought after . Then very shortly from that time of the acquaintance he readily became naughty.

At a distance I watch how far he would go, and I could tell that he was obviously one with a wild imagination and unbridled passions. Physically, he was attractive with his 6 feet stature, trimmed and athletic in built - he’s got the body that could make any clothes look good on and has obviously reminded me of my weakness.

Out of curiosity I dug into his photographs. A few shots took my attention - oh no I love the skin and the built minus the tattoos and piercing. No, I do not find him handsome but he can be ruggedly beautiful. Yes, he looks charismatic with a wide confident smile . I could imagine there never would be any dull moment with us together with the dynamic impulse of talent and fun. I thought of what could possibly be the other side of the man. Could it be that the other side of him may someday come out and we end up the best of friends.

He started inviting me to see him some future time. Although I kept the conversation open - deep within myself I was sure I was not ready to do it. The pictures I saw told me a story. I can not mess with my soul, not at this time when I am undergoing a spiritual reconstruction. I must be strong and never succumb to anything that I may never be able to rescue myself from. He must have sensed it or just realized that he did not want me after all.

Then he told me he was going some place. For days I did not see him. I realized I missed the man. My head told me I should be thankful for the chance to realize it was time to stop being silly about it however my emotion was stubborn to feel the emptiness . I saw him stood some distance and he knew I was there but he ignored me. I was a bit touched and affected. I told my friends about it and they laughed.

I laughed as well, the odd feeling of being ignored … it touches the pride but I should be alright. Very timely, acquaintances lost for ages started coming in to say hi again. One a lawyer kept hammering my brain with logic and told me that whatever affects me I should remember life is an art - that I hold the brush, pallet, and easel it is for me to paint the colour. The other one, he filled the hours with trust, understanding and admiration on my honesty and spirit.

I was never alone that I realized. In times when I needed something, succour come into place and true enough - I hold the brush and all that I needed and I am the only one who can paint my life’s portrait. I sat on the Sabbath meetings and thought how nice it should have been if I had him by my side. When I reached home, I finally took one last look at his picture , my breast tightened a bit and I smiled to say … it was nice having you but never again will I think of you.