>>> i woke up with a splitting headache today and i feel very sick. i had an afternoon shift earlier and after i crossed the few meter distance from home to work i just realized my nose went runny and was sneezing profusely. the night was not very helpful, i had thought it was only some kind of dehydration which could be relieve by water and sleep. when i opened my eyes - i found my laptop upside down beside me in bed. i could tell, sleep was not really good enough as to have sent me tossing around.
i reached for the computer and realized i got a download error. i must have hit some keys that switched off my browser. my neck is sore, as i slept with my bulky headset not just the earphones. my friend came on line to request that i fill in for her shift - oh what a day !!!
finally i found the button to let the browser working - it took me to my blogpage. i tried to read what i had posted in the past and realized how " maldita " i can get. super - as i could recall how bad i felt when i wrote some of those angry posts. yesterday at work, my friend told me - he was reading my blogs and he was entertained by it. thanks a lot my friend - you are so kind to spare time to get into those stuff.
as i have explained to my friend - the things i posted there were only meant for people who needed it. friends who knew and understood what i was talking about and for them to learn from it. as we have drifted far and wide, just want to let them feel that i am still with them and within reach. that i continue to fight my own battle and win some challenges.
>>> as the year ends, i am caught by this post which reminded me of how one thought i have ignored and rejected her. this year, it could be that there are those who feel like her and so i decided to post it here as well.i am not perfect so many times i said - at times i may be too busy to miss things that seem minor yet have hurt others the worst. i need to say sorry ...
" it is not that you are unworthy of friendship that i have strayed from the attention that you have thrown my path; it is just that i respect everyone's efforts and should be fair for them to enjoy what they have earned from it.
it is not that you are unlovable that i ignored the care and kindness that you have shown on me; it is just that i am not as gracious as you are that i may fail to show the gratitude that you deserve.
it is not that you are less attractive, that i looked away from the sight of you; it is just that i am vain and may not be able to treasure the gem that is in your heart.
it is not that you are unpopular that i steered away from you, it is just that i am aware i am not good enough that i should keep some distance on the road.
for all that i have done, i may appear rude to you but sorry as i am to make you feel that way, deep in my heart i never mean to hurt you."
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