THINGS WE DO NOT WANT TO LEARN BUT DO:

One old man I met would not last a minute without swearing. When dining I could hear him yell - bloody bastard, bring me my food. Another time I was walking past he said - Shit, help me please ! Seemingly, his swearing is so routine that words like " F " becomes easy on the ear. 

I looked at the man. He was bent, stiff and helpless. Nevertheless he was never a challenge to manage. In fact he has a degree of humor inside him. One night I went to his room to give his medication.

Nicely I called out his name.John( not his real name ) 

I am here with your medication.

Patient: Bugger off !

I did not feel offended but while he was on his side I went around the bed to put him on his back and raised the head of the bed.

Me: Now let me put you on your back so you can take your pills properly.

Patient: ah shit !

Me: ( sweetly ) okay darling open your bloody mouth so I can  drop these F--

       kin pills

Surprisingly the patient opened his mouth graciously and was never resisting.

I was expecting he would spit out the pill but he was trying to swallow it. I need to give him water to bring it down. 

So I said : good man - now here is some bloody water to take the pills down.

The man drank without much ado. Next I had to apply some eye drops on him. I said, John I need to put some drops on your eyes, can you open it up for me. He replied, oh shit, such a bugger !

I remembered the magic word and again nicely said : darling this wont take long just open that bloody eye so I can apply this f..kin drops and he did. The other nurse could not stop laughing - she just discovered a way of dealing with the man. Then we shared notes. 

My friend was told by her patient, oh I am feeling horny today. My friend did not understand what the word meant and imagining the horn she thought the man had a headache. So she replied, do not worry dear, I will get you some medicine. The patient had a good laugh.

One time at work, I was feeling very frustrated. I caught another staff looking at me with a questioning stare. I said, I am just very stressed at the moment. With a very sympathetic expression on the face she said - oh that is nothing just need more bonking and she went away with an interesting escape. Hey, I called out - what does that word mean ? When she tried to explain we both ended laughing - crazy world!