REMEMBERING OLD TALES:

2011 is about to start and how new beginnings almost always take me to some kind of reckoning of childhood tales with my grandma.

I remember when I had my first period my granny had to let me jump off three steps down the staircase. She said we have to do that so every episode will only last three days. She then told me to keep away from water on those days. I always trusted my granny - when at the height of my puberty years I had longer, stronger and harder case I come to wonder why. I just thought it could be because I myself was not even sure when I actually had it first. Our helper saw my underwear being soiled while I was carelessly playing and my knicker showed. When she called my attention I then had a shower and changed. It was only after a couple of days when she told my grandmother what she saw and my grandmother put me into such ritual. Consequently the thing did not work.

Then comes new year things. Some of my friends at new year's eve jump as high as they could around a post or pillar. They believe it will make them grow tall. I never had the chance to do that at any of the new years that passed and I come to think perhaps if I did it then maybe I have grown beyond 157 centimetres and my rude tall friend will not have the chance to pick on me and call me too short.

Another new year activity that we usually take time to do is gathering 12 rounded fruits with no black seeds within it. 12 represents every month of the year and the rounded shape is to symbolize how life should roll with a yearlong supply of money ( a coin being round ). Black seem to have a negative connotation which could have explained why the seed should not be that colour. I come to think that black being blanco is the absence of all colours and of course we always hope for prosperity and colours in our daily existence. One thing though I am quite happy that being in New Zealand I find acceptance with my affinity to black - I simply find black elegant.

I remember when the holiday break start we get the chance to dig into our clutter and sort things right. Timely that shortly before the next year comes rubbish are thrown and the surroundings are clean and inorder. What grandma often say was that everything should start right every year. Healthy body, healthy relationships, healthy lifestyle ... and how in new year's day it was expected to look clean with a good bath and nice new dress. Fighting is unwelcome on new year's day infact at Christmas time one is expected to straigthen out differences and past misgivings. Errors happening on CHristmas and New Year is considered wrong timing.

On the practical side of things I like the thought that people should start the year debt free otherwise they get trapped in debt the whole year. Relatively, grandma makes it a point to remind us not to go on a spending spree on new years day or we go squandering the whole year and ending bankrupt.

More to starting the New Year right is keeping the table laden with significant foodstuff to keep the blessings coming in for the year. Steaky rice ( suman, biko, puto maya ) to bond the family close together every day of the year. Fish is for money and pork is for prosperity. Honestly until this time I do not really know how come and why. Interesting to note though that chicken is out as it get food by scratching the ground and it is not a good symbolism to be on "one scratch one eat ". Not to forget that fruits are to be sweet for obvious reasons.



Several rituals we do to make our life right. Fireworks at the start of the year to ward off bad luck and evil. Even the towing or beating of empty cans to make an equivalent sound just to keep the energy around us clear. I have nothing against any of these - everything adds to the fun yet for all the excitement is one still small voice in the depths of our soul who can tell us that peace and happiness streams right from our very own hearts. So on New Year's Day I will be working and will try to make a good turn to the residents. Happy 2011 everyone!

CHRISTMAS 2010:

Three more sleep and it will be Christmas Day. A day to think about ourselves as followers of the One called Christ. The season brings different meanings to each and everyone of us. Christmas is celebrated in different ways.

Moments in childhood remind me of how I welcomed the season with the thought of opening the gifts under the christmas tree. It was also the time of carols and noels. I reckon children singing Jingle Bells with flattened metal softdrink lids modified into castanets and how the coins are kept handy to give to them. Adult carolers get bills on envelopes though.

Christmas could be the best time of the year in childhood. The school break may be short but festive, colourful and fun. When I was older and working in the Philippine setting I looked forward to Christmas with the 13th month pay and other bonuses. Things are different now but it should not be too bad.

I am on my regular rostered shift on CHristmas day. It may sound sad but really not at all. Working on Christmas day will take the mind out of nostalgia and will benefit the time and a half pay plus a day in lieu. The spirit of giving is not even gone. I feel working on Christmas day is a more significant way of showing affection and care through an honest and full attention to ones role as a health service provider. It is more significant than throwing coins, handing envelopes and packing gifts.

Personally I think it is good to learn to find gratification and earn a silent contentment within our hearts to spend time with the lonely and longing souls. I believe nurturing the ailing and frail spirit within the now thinning skin and porous bones  of God's masterpiece could be a great exercise of faith. Of course I love the fun and company of friends which I enjoy most of the time within the year. Surely I have fun with food, wine, music, laughter and even blabber but Christmas is dedicated to a special time of love and service.

When I had that some kinda freaky shift last night with one patient stirring the workplace with her tantrum yelling and slamming the door - one patient crying of depression - another one getting affected and upset starting to scream himself - when other patients coiled in fear as they kept in their room - another one confuse, restless and calling trying to roll off the bed - one wandering, moaning and getting difficult -I can only take a deep breath and say - thanks for the chance to live and grow - strength is the greatest gift I have this Christmas.

THANK YOU 2010:

Time flies and how 2010 is about to pass. Life as it is has always been and will always be a time of learning and growth. Learning can be different things. Some learn things easy and fun, others learn big and hard. Looking back it seem silly to realize how life has taught us about a few simple facts without learning it well enough. We all have our weaknesses where we almost always fail but cannot seem to manage to fix it fast enough. I have my own share of failures too but which I do not regret.  The greatest gift I can give to myself is forgiveness and a chance to prove myself again.

Time when I broke down with disgust against  traitors. People who can be so pleasing and convincing but lethal to the core. For once I felt I had enough of those and how hard it is for me to learn. Maybe at least I should learn to reserve some room for doubt on everyone and be discreet about my passions. People told me many times not to trust but here I am totally honest and open with my thoughts and heart. I make myself vulnerable to users of all sorts.

If it be true that people born in the star of Pisces are dreamers then perhaps I live in a dream. Maybe believing that the world is beautiful and life is wonderful is an illusion. If my world be a dream then the reality of envy, hatred and jealousy are my nightmares.  Crabs are my greatest enemy and how they wreak havoc  on my peaceful nerves. Yet I cannot waste my time sleeping with these individuals for no one can distract my happiness for long - I am blessed as I am and it is not enough to make my existence bitter. I am glad with the chance to find a few true friendship among the billions of us here on earth. But yes at one time and another there will always be people who will try to make us miserable even for a moment.

With moments in 2010 coming to a close I can smile with glee in my soul. I have experienced the wonders of nature and awed by the magnificense of creation. I have spread my wings and conquered some heights - I was pinned down by the circumstances of my back which only made me appreciate the sweetness of sincere relationships. I have seen meaning and gained insights of every bit of challenges that teased my existence and I should be ready to face new revelations.

My sincere thanks to friends who stood by me through the years - Edson, Mikay and Raul(for my Canon) - Ian and Herbert - Ryan M and Ryan C - Paul Cyprian L - Wildflower - McMc - those who trusted me : Brenda, Leshane, Angie, Lee, Jasinta, Jessah, Gerry , Insik , Vanet, Donna Lea, Tantan even those that I have only met this year and didnt have the chance to bond more but did spend cheers together like KC and Jonlee, Ianna, Jhong, Gracia, Mercy - to those who had me in their thoughts but I understand were busy with their own struggle you surely have a share of my goodwill.

Yet to a few who looked at me with contempt and had abused my name. To you who sucked my energy and had survived with my efforts, my passion and my feelings - I can manage to thank you too for you have made me stronger and smarter to carry on to a better world. My wish is for everyone to blossom with happiness, peace and joy in each ones heart. Happy Christian season and Blessed 2011 ahead of us all.