The poor bug tossed and turned in bed all night and even most of the day. It was one of the regular weeks when the normally menacing virus takes a weekend shift. It was a Good Friday, a time for spiritual retreat to most Christians. A moment of the year when most people reflect on the amazing gift of grace, sacrifice and forgiveness for creatures destined to fall yet so well loved by its Maker that regardless of the tendency to get broken and damaged the hope to be cherished and cuddled back in loving arms faithfully existed.
Internet played its famous role that day. Out of a good chat came a sudden bad news. A member of the family died. We used to live in one house in an extended set up. Through our formative years, she was to be the youngest and the baby. Fast as time flies, everyone was kept busy in each ones diverse affairs even coping with ones chosen lot. We hardly see each other yet the memories of laughter, some frustrations, hopes and dreams do linger.
While she grew to be tall and a bit heavy I was more prepared to think that some related common malady cost her life. Terrified and badly broken I realized I was to hear the most horrible, brutal and evil deed I could hardly take. I frozed and trembled, filled with hatred and so much grief for a young vibrant life aiming for a brighter tomorrow. We have been taught and had laboured for what we have reaped in this life ... how unfair for anyone to think and simply ripped from her the fruit of her efforts.
Mortality is but synonymous with imperfections. Through all human frailties, no one deserves such intense hatred and brutality. I know the surviving victim. She has the most tender and loving heart I know is existing in this world. A devoted wife and enduring mother who had strong spiritual trust to withstand the endless trials she had encountered. In her advanced years, she does not deserve the pain, the terror and fright.
In this time of grief, I know there is not enough words to pacify a very distraught emotion and I choose to keep silent and keep my distance. In my mind, the happy and funny memories of childhood and even the last few moments we shared before I left the country will always stay. I could not understand, and I could not imagine how such wickedness exist in this world. I am writing trying to ventilate and ease my own tensed feelings ... I am not superstitious but last night I could smell the scent of formalin - I said to myself - she must be around to visit her ate - I dont know what to say or write to make myself feel better - I dont know - I really dont ... I want to cry but I am in so much disbelief and shock - somehow sleeping with such troubled mind - I had dreams to say, she understands. May she rest in peace in the realms of perfection in the Kingdom of our Heavenly Parents where our own dear departed take its rest in Justice - Joy - and Love.
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