I was walking from work one morning when the strong Wellington winds blew a tin bin that went rolling down the road. It was making such silly noise that I initially jumped with fright wondering what it was that was pursuing me from behind. Then I saw the empty container, no wonder it was noisy.
On that early morning before 2010 was to start, the thought of an experience simply came to mind. The acquaintance of a restless soul screaming for attention. The strong rugged facade that somehow revealed of ailing health. The adlibs of phrases that pleaded for correct interpretation. Oh dear, how it made me stopped and wanted to listen and nurture a bond of empathy, understanding even acceptance and friendship. Somehow it made me suspect that I was falling in love but was I really ?
One thing sure I know myself. Sir Joel had the right word to say ... " you are easily upset but readily pacified " and for that I know I am such because I can relate to the fun of teasing others. In such a case I can be forgiving because as I annoy others I do not really mean harm. And so that rules out any doubt of feeling the emotion called love. I am merely a friendly and a peace loving creature who cannot stand the thought of being at odds with anyone.
Nothing comes by accident and therefore everything has its own reason for being. This again is another food for thought that my mind was trying to digest.
Yes, I can be all fun and superficial somehow when things start to make way into my brain, it lingers and searches for revelations. Once upon a time I decided to accommodate things that most people considered a mismatch to my spirit. Now my mortal perception started asking why and what ? While I was playing with my laptop I decided I will make the first move and get going again.
It was more than a year of questioning. The answer was so elusive. Times could sometimes be rude and brutal - things that I am never good at. My spirit does not seem to give up but the mind refused to fight. I wanted to understand but maybe SOME THINGS ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE so that for 2010 some things just have to be given up and hopefully forgotten for good.
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