DILEMMA:

Christchurch was my first home in New Zealand. I have sentimental memories to reckon in that place. It was November, 2006 when all 15 of the Golden Summit group arrived that cold rainy night. Joel was with us then. The first Holiday Season away from the frolic and comfort of home, family and friends. The challenges of building a new life in a strange place. The uncertainties that hang each day as we listened and awaited changes in Immigration Policies that might affect our situation then. Both the fun and the misery of finding oneself trapped within a group confronted with the concerns for survival in an uncertain,unsecured and highly competitive time. Now I can look back to all of it no matter what - everything with pleasant memories and very profitable learnings.

For twenty one months, I had things going for me in Christchurch. Those were the times when I have proven to myself the spiritual influence of LIFE. I can never be a religious individual ... sometimes i feel I am betraying my Church - but with all trust and sincerity I believed Someone out there is looking and taking good care of me. More than anything else I believed that Someone knows me by heart - He knows my strength as well as my weaknesses and He knows how to manage the circumstances for my mind and my heart to make up the most appropriate decisions.

Wellington is where I am at the right time. I was not aiming to be using a Parker or a Cross Pen when I came to New Zealand. Somehow, I need to do something where Economics, Accountancy and Nursing must come into play. I was at the brink of my patience when things happened. Again, circumstances only proved that I am not alone. Things fell at the right places just when I thought that everything was all wrong. Finally I was not only seeing the light but was into it.

The winds of change had calmed down for me to enjoy a moment of making choices. Christchurch will always hold a special place in my heart but at one time when I was starting to build friendship with new acquaintances and was seeing my goals materializing before my eyes it was convenient for me to simply let it flow. Staying in Wellington opened new doors for me to explore. Although Wellington is giving me the feeling of home - makes me feel like I am in Cebu it also brings to me some childhood reckoning of the sea, the hills and the birds. More it fascinates me to be back where a dose of most things I fancy are accessible. Things just keep coming and happening here in Wellington yet it feels safe enough to be in.

The call came at 15:20 just as I was ready to pull my drug trolley. I dug into my pocket for my mobile but the caller hang up. I checked my voicemail to hear the HR saying that my earlier request to be in Christchurch can now be sorted out. I was then caught in a dilemma - got my heart torn between two significant choices. I talked to my clinical leader, I recalled the words my clients had for me, I took the reaction of two acquaintances who somehow had a call on my emotions at such moment ... I slept at five o'clock the following day thinking about it and before I could properly opened my eyes my mobile rang with the HR on the line. I gave the word - I am staying. When I put down the phone I found myself lost. I cannot be in two places at the same time - I love both Wellington and Christchurch.