I opened my messenger one day when I saw two notifications on the page. I am not very conversant about this web thing but I understand that some basic data just have to be visible to the public. As far as I know I have my pages restricted to my friends only. I go the web to download my kind of tunes, to find things I get interested in ( for sure it has nothing to do with finding the opposite sex ) and to get in touch with my family and close friends who live far away from me now. Everyday, as I move around and get acquainted with more people my list of friends grow as well but they are all those that I have actually seen in person and no one of those strangers that lurk in the internet.
From time to time I do get invitations for connections which I must honestly admit I ignore especially when they sound strange to me. Most particularly I do not tag other people's page with anything especially when I know that they do not know me. Anyway, I had a woman leaving a post in my page one time. It was a friendly note which I ignored at first because she was just worthless to me and I do not honestly care.
It was days after then when one time I was talking to a friend and we came discussing a local guy who was openly flirting with Asians. He was one man who jumped into my friends midst one time, arrogant and making cackles more noisy than a hen laying eggs. He is one kind who laborously market himself in a flea market with props like snakes and magic just to attract people and throw attention his way. He was one who when you get to know him closer - that with a personality of a bully.
At first I simply found myself amused thinking that everything was a joke. There were times when I simply thought, he must have been into some painful experiences in the past and must be nursing the hurt till the present which he only tried to hide in a strong facade. For once, I wanted to befriend him ... welcome him into my peaceful, stressfree, clean-fun world. He challenged me to see life in the world of SEX and PERVERSION - I dont know what more he wanted - yet those were aspects of Life that he found me boring and ignorant.
Fine with me dear friend - I know who I am and I know what I am doing. We are two different creatures in this wildlife and without any regrets my mind and my emotions are safe without you. Soon I found out that the friendly message posted on my page came from one of his women. I as a woman would not lift a finger with anyone I am not concern of - why do something with me? Is the problem that sausage that has readily been displayed to curious onlookers in the webcam ?
Hahaha - once I was offered assistance to become a permanent resident if I must take the challenge... oh dear what an offense to my capabilities and personal endowment... I am not that hopeless. More it was not only me but other friends I know who know the person. Goodness me, I am not putting up with women who are going gaga with a beautiful body that housed a failing lung. I am not going to pay - not with money nor my body - a life of violence and misery just for a rotten sausage.
Yes, I am upset. I feel bad to have my person brought into the interest of insecure, miserable and hungry women scared to lose any instrument I am not interested about. I am really tempted to write your name here, yet as an educator I believe you should know what your actuations mean and what better thing you should do. My dear - he is all yours ... and the rest of other Asians with whom he is flirting with - May this comfort your tormented soul. Amen.
21 January, 2010
DILEMMA:
Christchurch was my first home in New Zealand. I have sentimental memories to reckon in that place. It was November, 2006 when all 15 of the Golden Summit group arrived that cold rainy night. Joel was with us then. The first Holiday Season away from the frolic and comfort of home, family and friends. The challenges of building a new life in a strange place. The uncertainties that hang each day as we listened and awaited changes in Immigration Policies that might affect our situation then. Both the fun and the misery of finding oneself trapped within a group confronted with the concerns for survival in an uncertain,unsecured and highly competitive time. Now I can look back to all of it no matter what - everything with pleasant memories and very profitable learnings.
For twenty one months, I had things going for me in Christchurch. Those were the times when I have proven to myself the spiritual influence of LIFE. I can never be a religious individual ... sometimes i feel I am betraying my Church - but with all trust and sincerity I believed Someone out there is looking and taking good care of me. More than anything else I believed that Someone knows me by heart - He knows my strength as well as my weaknesses and He knows how to manage the circumstances for my mind and my heart to make up the most appropriate decisions.
Wellington is where I am at the right time. I was not aiming to be using a Parker or a Cross Pen when I came to New Zealand. Somehow, I need to do something where Economics, Accountancy and Nursing must come into play. I was at the brink of my patience when things happened. Again, circumstances only proved that I am not alone. Things fell at the right places just when I thought that everything was all wrong. Finally I was not only seeing the light but was into it.
The winds of change had calmed down for me to enjoy a moment of making choices. Christchurch will always hold a special place in my heart but at one time when I was starting to build friendship with new acquaintances and was seeing my goals materializing before my eyes it was convenient for me to simply let it flow. Staying in Wellington opened new doors for me to explore. Although Wellington is giving me the feeling of home - makes me feel like I am in Cebu it also brings to me some childhood reckoning of the sea, the hills and the birds. More it fascinates me to be back where a dose of most things I fancy are accessible. Things just keep coming and happening here in Wellington yet it feels safe enough to be in.
The call came at 15:20 just as I was ready to pull my drug trolley. I dug into my pocket for my mobile but the caller hang up. I checked my voicemail to hear the HR saying that my earlier request to be in Christchurch can now be sorted out. I was then caught in a dilemma - got my heart torn between two significant choices. I talked to my clinical leader, I recalled the words my clients had for me, I took the reaction of two acquaintances who somehow had a call on my emotions at such moment ... I slept at five o'clock the following day thinking about it and before I could properly opened my eyes my mobile rang with the HR on the line. I gave the word - I am staying. When I put down the phone I found myself lost. I cannot be in two places at the same time - I love both Wellington and Christchurch.
For twenty one months, I had things going for me in Christchurch. Those were the times when I have proven to myself the spiritual influence of LIFE. I can never be a religious individual ... sometimes i feel I am betraying my Church - but with all trust and sincerity I believed Someone out there is looking and taking good care of me. More than anything else I believed that Someone knows me by heart - He knows my strength as well as my weaknesses and He knows how to manage the circumstances for my mind and my heart to make up the most appropriate decisions.
Wellington is where I am at the right time. I was not aiming to be using a Parker or a Cross Pen when I came to New Zealand. Somehow, I need to do something where Economics, Accountancy and Nursing must come into play. I was at the brink of my patience when things happened. Again, circumstances only proved that I am not alone. Things fell at the right places just when I thought that everything was all wrong. Finally I was not only seeing the light but was into it.
The winds of change had calmed down for me to enjoy a moment of making choices. Christchurch will always hold a special place in my heart but at one time when I was starting to build friendship with new acquaintances and was seeing my goals materializing before my eyes it was convenient for me to simply let it flow. Staying in Wellington opened new doors for me to explore. Although Wellington is giving me the feeling of home - makes me feel like I am in Cebu it also brings to me some childhood reckoning of the sea, the hills and the birds. More it fascinates me to be back where a dose of most things I fancy are accessible. Things just keep coming and happening here in Wellington yet it feels safe enough to be in.
The call came at 15:20 just as I was ready to pull my drug trolley. I dug into my pocket for my mobile but the caller hang up. I checked my voicemail to hear the HR saying that my earlier request to be in Christchurch can now be sorted out. I was then caught in a dilemma - got my heart torn between two significant choices. I talked to my clinical leader, I recalled the words my clients had for me, I took the reaction of two acquaintances who somehow had a call on my emotions at such moment ... I slept at five o'clock the following day thinking about it and before I could properly opened my eyes my mobile rang with the HR on the line. I gave the word - I am staying. When I put down the phone I found myself lost. I cannot be in two places at the same time - I love both Wellington and Christchurch.
20 January, 2010
SOME THINGS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE:
I was walking from work one morning when the strong Wellington winds blew a tin bin that went rolling down the road. It was making such silly noise that I initially jumped with fright wondering what it was that was pursuing me from behind. Then I saw the empty container, no wonder it was noisy.
On that early morning before 2010 was to start, the thought of an experience simply came to mind. The acquaintance of a restless soul screaming for attention. The strong rugged facade that somehow revealed of ailing health. The adlibs of phrases that pleaded for correct interpretation. Oh dear, how it made me stopped and wanted to listen and nurture a bond of empathy, understanding even acceptance and friendship. Somehow it made me suspect that I was falling in love but was I really ?
One thing sure I know myself. Sir Joel had the right word to say ... " you are easily upset but readily pacified " and for that I know I am such because I can relate to the fun of teasing others. In such a case I can be forgiving because as I annoy others I do not really mean harm. And so that rules out any doubt of feeling the emotion called love. I am merely a friendly and a peace loving creature who cannot stand the thought of being at odds with anyone.
Nothing comes by accident and therefore everything has its own reason for being. This again is another food for thought that my mind was trying to digest.
Yes, I can be all fun and superficial somehow when things start to make way into my brain, it lingers and searches for revelations. Once upon a time I decided to accommodate things that most people considered a mismatch to my spirit. Now my mortal perception started asking why and what ? While I was playing with my laptop I decided I will make the first move and get going again.
It was more than a year of questioning. The answer was so elusive. Times could sometimes be rude and brutal - things that I am never good at. My spirit does not seem to give up but the mind refused to fight. I wanted to understand but maybe SOME THINGS ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE so that for 2010 some things just have to be given up and hopefully forgotten for good.
On that early morning before 2010 was to start, the thought of an experience simply came to mind. The acquaintance of a restless soul screaming for attention. The strong rugged facade that somehow revealed of ailing health. The adlibs of phrases that pleaded for correct interpretation. Oh dear, how it made me stopped and wanted to listen and nurture a bond of empathy, understanding even acceptance and friendship. Somehow it made me suspect that I was falling in love but was I really ?
One thing sure I know myself. Sir Joel had the right word to say ... " you are easily upset but readily pacified " and for that I know I am such because I can relate to the fun of teasing others. In such a case I can be forgiving because as I annoy others I do not really mean harm. And so that rules out any doubt of feeling the emotion called love. I am merely a friendly and a peace loving creature who cannot stand the thought of being at odds with anyone.
Nothing comes by accident and therefore everything has its own reason for being. This again is another food for thought that my mind was trying to digest.
Yes, I can be all fun and superficial somehow when things start to make way into my brain, it lingers and searches for revelations. Once upon a time I decided to accommodate things that most people considered a mismatch to my spirit. Now my mortal perception started asking why and what ? While I was playing with my laptop I decided I will make the first move and get going again.
It was more than a year of questioning. The answer was so elusive. Times could sometimes be rude and brutal - things that I am never good at. My spirit does not seem to give up but the mind refused to fight. I wanted to understand but maybe SOME THINGS ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE so that for 2010 some things just have to be given up and hopefully forgotten for good.
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