Deep in my heart I know Divinity. I look around and even into my own life surely I find wonders and splendour beyond what human logic can comprehend. Somehow even in the lamiest of worldly vanities I am compounded and kept away from the intimacy of my God. Many instances in my lifetime, the Father of my soul has faithfully testified of His love and power supporting my existence in this temporal world - he knows my heart - yet frail is my flesh I can fall sometimes even ruin His temple.
It upsets me to realize what a ferocious and fearless enemy I can become. My vengeance can be endless. Sometimes I look at the mirror and wonder how my friends could find me kind and pure in heart when at the end of my patience I can be a monster. Like a spoiled child having tantrums I can feel the Father's warm and tender arms holding me close trying to pacify and ease my anger. Yes I have been given much - I have been given favours others are begging to have - it is time to give others the chance to enjoy some of what I got.
Twice, a friend told me - Divine plan is greater than my mistake - surely I know somehow I just have to choose to be humble and trust in the wisdom of God. In life are choices and living is a matter of making decisions - more in the end of it all glory is judged as to learnings, progress, achievements based on the criteria of faith and righteouness. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable considering that everything has a reason and purpose for being and how I have to deal with people I am bound to get back and get even. It is never my desire to hurt but how I easily get prompted with any form of abuse.
To all my friends this I have accepted - the positive side you see is just a part of me. I am mortal and I am not perfect - if you my friend wish to help me please strengthen me with honesty and sincerity. My humour and patience could be long but this is no guarantee you are free when you abuse me.
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